tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34587044188026177602024-03-02T21:10:45.650-06:00KJVIFB.com Blog DirectoryBlogroll for Independent Fundamental BaptistsJTRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13377580474241286817noreply@blogger.comBlogger960125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-19174420892388477542023-10-17T10:58:00.000-05:002023-10-17T10:58:14.738-05:00Gaza and Ashkelon in Bible Prophecy<p> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Gaza and Ashkelon in
Bible Prophecy</b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-font-width: 95%;">Gaza is about 59 miles West of the city of Jerusalem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ashkelon is about 16 miles North of
Gaza.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Gaza Strip is about 25 miles
long running from the Southeast to the North in Israel along the West coast of
the Mediterranean Sea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Gaza Strip varies
between 3.7 to 7.5 miles wide or deep extending from the coastline West into
the nation of Israel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-font-width: 95%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The
city of Gaza, which is today geographically Gaza City, is first mentioned in
Genesis 10:19 as one of the cities that were occupied by the descendants of
Noah’s son Ham after the Great Flood, and of which became part of the land of
the Canaanites.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt; mso-font-width: 95%;"> </span><span style="mso-font-width: 95%;">“<sup>15</sup> And <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Canaan begat
Sidon his firstborn</b>, and Heth, <sup>16</sup> And the Jebusite, and the
Amorite, and the Girgasite, <sup>17</sup> And the Hivite, and the Arkite, and
the Sinite, <sup>18</sup> And the Arvadite, and the Zemarite, and the
Hamathite: and afterward <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">were the
families of the Canaanites spread abroad</b>. <sup>19</sup> And the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">border of the Canaanites</b> was from
Sidon, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">as thou comest to Gerar, unto
Gaza</b>; as thou goest, unto Sodom, and Gomorrah, and Admah, and Zeboim, even
unto Lasha. <sup>20</sup> These <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i>
the sons of Ham, after their families, after their tongues, in their countries,
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> in their nations” (Genesis
10:15-20). </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt; mso-font-width: 95%;"> </span><span style="mso-font-width: 95%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Most
of the geography of what we know as today as the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Promised Land,</i> or the nation of Israel, was occupied by the
Canaanites until the time of Joshua.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God
had promised the land of the Canaanites to Abraham in the Abrahamic Covenant in
Genesis 15:8.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The consummation by the “smoking
furnace” passing between the divided sacrifices was God’s confirmation of the
land promised to the descendants of Abraham in the nation of Israel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gaza and Ashkelon were two of the main cities
that were part of this <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Promised Land</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="mso-font-width: 95%;">The fact that this
real estate was given by God to Israel and the surety of that promise was
confirmed by the fact that Abraham was not given any conditions on his part for
the fulfilment of the land promises.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
surety of these land promises are a covenant between the Father and His Son,
the Lord Jesus, represented by the “smoking furnace” that passed between the
sacrificial animal parts consuming them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This portrays the propitiation of God’s wrath in its prophetic
fulfillment in the sacrifice of Christ at Calvary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-font-width: 95%;">It is important in this context of the preservation
of the nation of Israel and the land promises to the nation of Israel are NOT
condition on the faithfulness of the nation of Israel to the Mosaic Covenant.</span></b><span style="mso-font-width: 95%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God’s
promise of preservation of the nation and the surety of the land promises are
secured by the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">unconditional promise</b>
of God in the Abrahamic Covenant intent upon manifesting the sovereignty of God
within human events and throughout human history.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God has miraculously accomplished His land
promise and will continue to do so throughout the rest of the history of the
world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt; mso-font-width: 95%;"> </span><span style="mso-font-width: 90%;">“<sup>7</sup> And he said unto him, I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">am</i>
the LORD that brought thee out of Ur of the Chaldees, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">to <u>give</u> thee this land to inherit it.</b> <sup>8</sup> And he
said, Lord GOD, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">whereby shall I know
that I shall inherit it?</b> <sup>9</sup> And he said unto him, Take me an
heifer of three years old, and a she goat of three years old, and a ram of
three years old, and a turtledove, and a young pigeon. <sup>10</sup> And he
took unto him all these, and divided them in the midst, and laid each piece one
against another: but the birds divided he not” (Genesis 15:7-10). </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .2in; margin-right: .2in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt; mso-font-width: 90%;"></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-font-width: 90%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After
the forty years of purification of the “mixed multitude” from the children of
Israel after their Exodus from Egypt, Joshua led the faithful remnant into
begin occupying the Promised Land.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Joshua
was commanded to purify the Promised Land of the Canaanites.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Canaanite culture was wicked beyond
description.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Canaanites were an extremely
sexually deviant culture practicing bestiality, incest, fornication, homosexuality,
and even child sacrifices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The product
of the procreation resulting from this sexual deviance was considered by God as
human “vomit” and was addressed by God in His instructions regarding Israel’s separation
from these practices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What God addresses
and forbids to the nation of Israel in Leviticus 18:19-25 were common practices
of the Canaanites.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt; mso-font-width: 90%;"> </span><span style="mso-font-width: 90%;">“<sup>19</sup> Also thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her
nakedness, as long as she is put apart for her uncleanness. <sup>20</sup> Moreover
thou shalt not lie carnally with thy neighbour’s wife, to defile thyself with
her. <sup>21</sup> And <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">thou shalt not
let any of thy seed pass through <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">the fire</i>
to Molech </b>{<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">infant and child sacrifice</i>},
neither shalt thou profane the name of thy God: I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">am</i> the LORD. <sup>22</sup> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Thou
shalt not lie with mankind</b>, as with womankind: it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i> abomination. <sup>23</sup> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Neither
shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith</b>: neither shall
any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i> confusion. <sup>24</sup> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Defile
not ye yourselves in any of these things</b>: for <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">in all these the nations are defiled which I cast out before you</b>: <sup>25</sup>
And <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">the land is defiled</b>: therefore I
do visit the iniquity thereof upon it, and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">the
land itself vomiteth out her inhabitants</b>” (Leviticus 18:19-25).</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt; mso-font-width: 90%;"> </span><span style="mso-font-width: 90%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The four-hundred and thirty years that
Israel was under Egyptian bondage was the longsuffering of God in giving the inhabitants
of Canaan (“Amorites”) time to repent.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Instead, the Canaanites grew more violent, oppressive, wicked, and
perverse with every generation until </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt; mso-font-width: 90%;"> </span><span style="mso-font-width: 90%;">“<sup>12</sup> And when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon
Abram; and, lo, an horror of great darkness fell upon him. <sup>13</sup> And he
said unto Abram, Know of a surety that thy seed shall be a stranger in a land <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that is</i> not theirs, and shall serve
them; and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">they shall afflict them four
hundred years</b>; <sup>14</sup> And also that nation, whom they shall serve,
will I judge: and afterward shall they come out with great substance. <sup>15</sup>
And thou shalt go to thy fathers in peace; thou shalt be buried in a good old
age. <sup>16</sup> But in the fourth generation they shall come hither again: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">for the iniquity of the Amorites <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i> not yet full </b>{<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">complete to where God gave them up</i>}”
(Genesis 15:12-16).</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Joshua was commanded to either drive the Canaanites out of the Promised
Land or to annihilate them, man, woman, child, and beast, if they would not
abandon the Promised land and leave it</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In Deuteronomy 20:10-20, God gave more lenient instructions regarding
the inhabitants outside of the boundaries of the Promised Land (Deuteronomy
20:10-15).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God gave strict annihilation commandments
regarding the Canaanites that refused to abandon the real estate within the Promised
Land (Deuteronomy 20:16-20).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">This commandment to the children of Israel
still stands.</b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt;"> </span>“<sup>16</sup> But of
the cities of these people, which the LORD thy God doth give thee <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">for</i> an inheritance, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">thou shalt save alive <u>nothing that breatheth</u></b>: <sup>17</sup>
But thou shalt utterly destroy them; <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">namely</i>,
the Hittites, and the Amorites, the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, the
Hivites, and the Jebusites; as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee: <sup>18</sup>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">That they teach you not to do after all
their abominations, which they have done unto their gods</b>; so should ye sin
against the LORD your God” (Deuteronomy 20:16-20).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Joshua and the children
of Israel failed to remove the Canaanites from Gaza and Ashkelon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This area has been an historical thorn in the
flesh of the nation of Israel since Joshua’s and the children of Israel’s
failure to drive them out of what we now call the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gaza Strip</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt;"> </span>“<sup>40 </sup>So
Joshua smote all the country of the hills, and of the south, and of the vale,
and of the springs, and all their kings: he left none remaining, but utterly
destroyed all that breathed, as the LORD God of Israel commanded. <sup>41</sup>
And Joshua smote them <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">from Kadesh-barnea
even</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>unto</u> Gaza</b>, and all
the country of Goshen, even <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">unto Gibeon</b>”
(Joshua 10:40-41). </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The area that surrounds the cities of Gaza and Gibeon is still what
constitutes the geography known today as the Gaza Strip.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The lesson we should learn is that our
failures to do what God says to do <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">become
a testimony of unfaithfulness</i> to the generations that follow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This failure by the children of Israel to
occupy and remove or annihilate all pagans within the Promised Land will
continue until Jesus accomplishes this purging at His second coming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Israel’s failure to
drive out or annihilate the Canaanites occupying the Gaza Strip took place
about 1041 B.C.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Philistines began to
occupy this real estate about sixty years before around 1100 B.C.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The major cities of the Philistines were Gaza,
Ashdod, Ashkelon, Ekron, and Gath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Certainly,
the names of these cities throughout Bible history bring to mind the constant
conflict of the children of Israel with the Philistines from David with Goliath
at Gath and Samson with Delilah at Gaza (Judges chapter sixteen). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"> <span style="mso-font-width: 87%;">The prophecies of
Jeremiah chapter forty-seven and Amos chapter one are both prophetic dualisms,
meaning they have had a historical fulfillment by Nebuchadnezzar king of
Babylon, but also will have a future Messianic fulfillment at the second coming
of Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The complete fulfilment of
Israel occupying all the real estate promised by God in the Abrahamic Covenant will
not happen until the Kingdom Age and the coming of King Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt; mso-font-width: 87%;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-font-width: 87%;">“<sup>1</sup> The word of the LORD
that came to Jeremiah the prophet against the Philistines, before that Pharaoh
smote Gaza. <sup>2</sup> Thus saith the LORD; Behold, waters rise up out of the
north, and shall be an overflowing flood, and</span></b><span style="mso-font-width: 87%;"> shall overflow the land, and all that is therein; the city, and them that
dwell therein: then the men shall cry, and all the inhabitants of the land
shall howl. <sup>3</sup> At the noise of the stamping of the hoofs of his
strong <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">horses</i>, at the rushing of his
chariots, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and at</i> the rumbling of his
wheels, the fathers shall not look back to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">their</i>
children for feebleness of hands; <sup>4</sup> Because of the day that cometh
to spoil all the Philistines, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> to
cut off from Tyrus and Zidon every helper that remaineth: for the LORD will
spoil the Philistines, the remnant of the country of Caphtor. <sup>5</sup> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Baldness is come upon Gaza; Ashkelon is cut
off <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">with</i> the remnant of their valley</b>:
how long wilt thou cut thyself? <sup>6</sup> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">O thou sword of the LORD</b>, how long <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">will it be</i> ere thou be quiet? put up thyself into thy scabbard,
rest, and be still. <sup>7</sup> How can it be quiet, seeing the LORD hath
given it a charge against Ashkelon, and against the sea shore? <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">there hath he appointed it</b>” (Jeremiah 47:1-7;
see also Amos chapter one). </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .2in; margin-right: .2in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt; mso-font-width: 87%;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .2in; margin-right: .2in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-font-width: 87%;">“<sup>35</sup> Thus saith the LORD, which giveth the sun for a light by
day, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> the ordinances of the moon
and of the stars for a light by night, which divideth the sea when the waves
thereof roar; The LORD of hosts <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i>
his name: <sup>36</sup> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>If</u> those
ordinances</b> {<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sun, moon, and stars</i>}
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">depart from before me, saith the LORD, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">then</i> the seed of Israel also shall cease
from being a nation before me for ever</b>. <sup>37</sup> Thus saith the LORD; <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>If</u> heaven above can be measured, and
the foundations of the earth searched out beneath</b>, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I will also cast off all the seed of Israel for all that they have done</b>,
saith the LORD” (Jeremiah 31:35-37).</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .2in; margin-right: .2in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt; mso-font-width: 87%;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .2in; margin-right: .2in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt; mso-font-width: 87%;"> </span><span style="mso-font-width: 87%;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Just
as God waited to deliverer Israel until the “the iniquity of the Amorites” (Canaanites)
was “full” (Genesis 15:16), the second coming of Jesus is waiting “the fullness
of the Gentiles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the “falling
away” of II Thessalonians 2:3 before the rapture/deliverance of the Church and
first aspects of the revealing of the Antichrist in the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">four horsemen</i> of the Apocalypse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .2in; margin-right: .2in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 7.0pt; mso-font-width: 87%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .2in; margin-right: .2in; margin-top: 0in; text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-font-width: 87%;">“For I would not, brethren, that ye should be ignorant of this mystery,
lest ye should be wise in your own conceits; that blindness in part is happened
to Israel, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>until</u> the fulness of
the Gentiles be come in</b>” (Romans 11:25).</span></p><p> <span style="mso-font-width: 87%;">“He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Even so, come, Lord Jesus.</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Even so come Lord Jesus</b>” (Revelation
22:20)!</span></p>
Lancehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04407932936189262291noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-84632621062352360742023-09-26T15:58:00.002-05:002023-09-28T15:54:37.478-05:00All Jerry Bouey's Blogs<p><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium; text-align: justify;">I know it has been a long time since I have worked on my blogs or updated them, but now I am pretty active on them - posting new content, updating the pages, fixing old links, etc. I wanted to try something new, so I created several new blogs.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">One new blog, called <a href="https://stories-of-christian-faith.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><b>The Substance Of Things Hoped For (Faith-based Stories and Illustration)</b></a>, was created for a place for me to be able to quickly repost all the stories and illustrations that Angela Trenholm (my webpartner) had on her family site (Trenholms Of Kelowna). <a href="http://earnestlycontending.com">EarnestlyContending.com</a> (our domain and the central hub for all our personal sites) got repeatedly hacked a little over two years ago and we lost all the content and had to rebuild from scratch. It is a lot of work trying to repost articles, stories, songs, etc. that were posted from approximately 21 years ago onwards, but I am making a valiant effort. Doing it in a blog format also gives me the opportunity to easily add new content.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">The second blog is for posting Daily Devotionals once again - devotionals and poems. I had done that for several years back in 2004 onwards, but eventually it became too much work to keep doing that project and work full time, developing new messages to preach at the Kelowna Gospel Mission. I had turned many of those outlines into full length studies and stored the rest in various boxes to hopefully develop more fully someday. That time did not come till now (of course, now I need to sort through all those boxes!!). This new devotional blog is called <a href="https://just-a-closer-walk-with-you.blogspot.com/" style="background-color: white; color: #ff9900; text-align: left;"><b>Just A Closer Walk With You (Daily Devotionals And Poems)</b></a>.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">For those who may be new to Buy The Truth or my blogs in general, or perhaps had not visited for quite a while, I also wanted to list all the other blogs here for you as well, so you can easily check them out and bookmark them if you so desire.</span></p><p></p><ul style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1.25em;"><li><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><a href="http://buy-the-truth.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Buy The Truth (KJB IFB Bible Studies)</a></span></li><li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0.25em 0px; text-align: justify;"><a href="http://faithfulmenofgod.blogspot.com/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration-line: none;"><b><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">Faithful Men Of God (Solid Christian Articles)</span></b></a></li></ul><ul style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1.25em;"><li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0.25em 0px; text-align: justify;"><a href="http://shadowoutlines.blogspot.com/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration-line: none;"><b><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">A Shadow Of Things To Come (Outlines and Short Devotionals)</span></b></a></li></ul><ul style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1.25em;"><li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0.25em 0px; text-align: justify;"><a href="http://songs-in-the-night.blogspot.com/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration-line: none;"><b><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">Songs In The Night (Christian Poetry and Songs)</span></b></a></li></ul><span style="font-size: medium;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: times;"><br /></span></div><span style="color: #222222; font-family: times;"><div style="text-align: justify;">My original websites (before I started any blogs) are:</div></span></span><p></p><p></p><ul style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1.25em;"><li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0.25em 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><b><a href="https://ewministries.earnestlycontending.com/" target="_blank">Eagle's Wings Ministries (<em>My Bible Study Site</em>)</a></b></span></li></ul><ul style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1.25em;"><li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0.25em 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">Bookmark this page: <a href="https://ewministries.earnestlycontending.com/table-of-contents/" target="_blank"><b>EWM Table Of Contents</b></a></span></li></ul><ul style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1.25em;"><li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0.25em 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;"><b><a href="https://realmccoy.earnestlycontending.com/" style="color: #cc6611; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Home Of The Real McCoy (<em>My Christian Poetry Site</em></a>)</b></span></li></ul><ul style="background-color: white; color: #222222; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 1.25em;"><li style="margin: 0px; padding: 0.25em 0px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: times; font-size: medium;">Bookmark this page: <a href="https://realmccoy.earnestlycontending.com/table-of-contents/" target="_blank"><b>HOTRM Table Of Contents</b></a></span></li></ul><span style="font-size: medium;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: times;"><br /></span></div><span style="color: #222222; font-family: times;"><div style="text-align: justify;">Most of the content on Home of the Real McCoy are my own poems, plus some poems that I have included in several books of poetry I have put together; whereas Songs In The Night contain both my poems and any poems, songs or hymns by others I wanted to pass on to others. I have added pages for various poems that I presented in church in 2021 or 2022 (as I cannot seem to add the audio files to my blogs). Just look for those poems within Songs In The Night or Home Of The Real McCoy Table Of Contents. I do have them marked on there. Still a few more to put up with the audio files, but I will indicate those ones too when they are made. I have also decided to duplicate my personal poems on Home of the Real McCoy and Songs In The Night, in case we are ever hacked again. Building all those pages from scratch was more work than I ever expected.</div></span></span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: times;">I hope all these blogs and pages are a blessing to you.</span></span></p><p></p><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: times; font-size: medium;">In Jesus' precious name,</span></div><span style="font-size: medium;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #222222; font-family: times;">Jerry Bouey</span></div></span>Jerry Boueyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11939572388745111915noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-4444565105033072322022-04-18T09:07:00.004-05:002022-04-18T09:07:31.933-05:00Whatcha Gonna Do?<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are
called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and
turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive
their sin, and will heal their land. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>Two men were walking in a field and they came upon a huge
hole in the ground. It really looked
deep, so they started taking turns dropping rocks into the hole to see if they
could ascertain how deep the hole was.
They heard nothing so they started looking for bigger rocks and things
to cast down the hole. They finally
found an old truck transmission. It took them both to lift it and drag it to
the hole and cast it into this abyss.
Suddenly the heard something and were astounded a goat was running
toward that hole as fast as he could go, down the hole the goat was gone. Finally they got bored and walked away and
came upon a farmer, and the farmer asked if they had seen his goat. The responded they had and it jumped into a
big hole. The farmers said “It couldn’t
be mine, mine was attached to an old truck transmission.”</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>We see by our illustration, that a rope tied to both a
transmission and a goat caused the farmers dilemma.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Which leads us to a few questions.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Is Jesus that rope that is keeping
you from humbling yourself?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Is Jesus that rope that is keeping
you from praying?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Is Jesus that rope that is keeping
you from seeking God’s face?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Is Jesus that rope that is keeping
you from turning from your wicked ways?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>No it is NOT Jesus, then who is it?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span color="windowtext" lang="X-NONE" style="font-family: "Georgia",serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: X-NONE; text-align: justify;">Rom</span><span color="windowtext" style="font-family: "Georgia",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: X-NONE; text-align: justify;">ans</span><span color="windowtext" lang="X-NONE" style="font-family: "Georgia",serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: X-NONE; text-align: justify;"> 12:1</span><span color="windowtext" style="font-family: "Georgia",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-language: X-NONE; text-align: justify;">-2</span><span color="windowtext" lang="X-NONE" style="font-family: "Georgia",serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: X-NONE; text-align: justify;"> I
beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your
bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, <i>which is</i> your
reasonable service. </span><span color="windowtext" lang="X-NONE" style="font-family: "Georgia",serif; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: X-NONE; text-align: justify;"> </span><span color="windowtext" lang="X-NONE" style="font-family: "Georgia",serif; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: X-NONE; text-align: justify;">2 And be
not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your
mind, that ye may prove what <i>is</i> that good, and acceptable, and perfect,
will of God. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> Well the easy answer is a quote from comedian Flip Wilson
who always included this statement “The devil made ME do it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
{the devil, Satan} may be involved however, he is not the primary culprit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our scripture tells us that “be <span style="mso-fareast-language: X-NONE;">ye transformed by the renewing of your mind...</span>”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So it is us (Me included) that is keeping us
from the command that we should “...<span style="mso-fareast-language: X-NONE;">shall
humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways;</span>”
it is us.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, Whatcha Gonna Do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>The scripture states v2 “<span style="mso-fareast-language: X-NONE;">And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the
renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what <i>is</i> that good, and
acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 11.5pt;"><span> </span>We
need to change and repent of our ways and get back to the will of our God.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;">Hebrews 10:22 Let us draw near with a true
heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil
conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-language: X-NONE;"><span> </span>We see from
Hebrews whatever we do it must be done from the heart and done sincerely and
with repentance.</span> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-fareast-language: X-NONE;"><span> </span>Cut that rope and
move to the Will of God via repentance, as the shoe people used to say “Just Do
It.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">John R. E Chastain</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>John R. E Chastainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10678148769345873746noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-22154389809403042722019-02-26T11:42:00.000-06:002019-02-26T11:42:03.540-06:00Jehovah Tsidkenu<div style="color: #454545; font-family: ".SF UI Text"; font-size: 17.9px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">JEHOVAH TSIDKENU</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: ".SF UI Text"; font-size: 17.9px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">"THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS"</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: ".SF UI Text"; font-size: 17.9px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">(The watchword of the Reformers.)</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: ".SF UI Text"; font-size: 17.9px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 21.4px;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;"></span><br /></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: ".SF UI Text"; font-size: 17.9px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">I once was a stranger to grace and to God,</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: ".SF UI Text"; font-size: 17.9px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">I knew not my danger, and felt not my load;</span></div>
<div style="color: #454545; font-family: ".SF UI Text"; font-size: 17.9px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Though friends spoke in rapture of Christ on the tree,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Jehovah Tsidkenu was nothing to me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">I oft read with pleasure, to sooth or engage,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Isaiah's wild measure and John's simple page;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">But e'en when they pictured the blood-sprinkled tree</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Jehovah Tsidkenu seem'd nothing to me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Like tears from the daughters of Zion that roll,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">I wept when the waters went over His soul;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Yet thought not that my sins had nail'd to the tree</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Jehovah Tsidkenu - 'twas nothing to me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">When free grace awoke me, by light from on high,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Then legal fears shook me, I trembled to die;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">No refuge, no safety in self could I see, -</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Jehovah Tsidkenu my Saviour must be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">My terrors all vanished before the sweet name;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">My guilty fears banished, with boldness I came</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">To drink at the fountain, life-giving and free, -</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Jehovah Tsidkenu is all things to me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Jehovah Tsidkenu! my treasure and boast,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Jehovah Tsidkenu! I ne'er can be lost;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">In thee I shall conquer by flood and by field,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">My cable, my anchor, my breast-plate and shield!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Even treading the valley, the shadow of death,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">This "watchword" shall rally my faltering breath;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">For while from life's fever my God sets me free,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Jehovah Tsidkenu, my death song shall be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">November 18, 1834.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Robert Murray M’Cheyne</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">Note for modern readers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">The phrase "Jehovah Tsidkenu" is taken from the Anglicised Hebrew of the following two verses in the prophet Jeremiah.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">"Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that I will raise unto David a righteous Branch, and a King shall reign and prosper, and shall execute judgment and justice in the earth. In his days Judah shall be saved, and Israel shall dwell safely: and this is his name whereby he shall be called, THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS." (Jeremiah 23:5-6)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17.94pt;">This is fulfilled in the New Testament in the doctrine of "Justification by Faith" whereby undeserving sinners are accounted righteous before God as a free gift on the basis of the redemption through the blood of Jesus Christ as proclaimed in the Gospel. (See especially Romans chapter 3 verses 21-26.)</span></div>
Jerry Boueyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11939572388745111915noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-88486504786885878722017-09-19T14:20:00.000-05:002017-09-19T14:21:31.001-05:00Miscarriage ~ The Grief of Emptiness<h3 class="post-title entry-title" itemprop="name" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; position: relative;">
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<b>My sweetheart and I were married on August 14, 1978, and we desired to have children as soon as the Lord would give them to us.</b><br />
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By November 8th, I was calling my gynecologist for information on a pregnancy test. That was back in the day before you could purchase a self-test kit from your local drug store. Never having had a pregnancy test before, the instructions given to me were to provide them with a sample of my morning urine. The next day I carried my brown paper bag with a urine filled container into the doctor’s office for testing. Then I waited for the results. Strangely enough, I had heard a loud roar of laughter just after my sample was received by the nearby lab personnel. I quickly reasoned that the full quart-size mason jar was a little more than what was needed for a pregnancy test! I would have laughed with them, but I really wasn’t feeling well. My husband had been on military sick-call for a few days and had already been admitted to the base hospital for further testing. I was beginning to wonder if I was coming down with whatever he had. A little later, and with a little more laughter, the official results were given to me: I was indeed pregnant. Then I asked, “Should I be concerned that I am spotting?”<br />
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<b>It was the next day, and my husband was being discharged from the base hospital.</b> But, my friend had taken me to the local ER, and I was now being admitted to a different hospital. I was in the process of having a miscarriage. It was November 10, 1978, the decade of Roe vs. Wade, and Americans were being desensitized in order for them to accept the agenda for a woman’s right to choose. The questions I asked were responded to with medical terminology that was emotionally cold, indifferent, and that dehumanized the life that had been within me. “You had a spontaneous abortion. The fetus was between 6 - 8 weeks gestation.” But my heart cried, “My baby died!” as a grief of emptiness began to consumed me.<br />
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<b>This grief of emptiness...</b><br />
...where there is no grave to stand beside, no tombstone to read, no pictures to reminisce over, and no memories to share: this is the grief of emptiness. A grief of things that never happened but were hoped for, of things that might have been but never will be. This grief was consuming me to a point of breaking. Many times the only ones who understand the depth of this grief are those who have shared the same loss of an unborn child, a still birth, or the deep sorrow of a barren womb. I didn’t need the encouragement of “You can try again.” I was too devastated by the loss of <i>this </i>child. I felt alone in my grief, after all, there hadn’t been time for any joyous announcement before my heart was forever broken for <i>this child</i>. Even my husband was still trying to get his head around the thought of being a father when I was suddenly engulfed with a grief that he could not fathom. Bewildered by the events that had so quickly come upon our lives, he was at a loss as to how he could comfort me. He just wanted me to be alright.<br />
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The years passed, and the Lord gave us five healthy children to raise. <b>Then came the unbelievable heartbreak of a grief I have never known: my 28 year old daughter suddenly and unexpectedly died.</b><br />
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I fell back onto the chair as I cried out in defiance... the room felt like a vacuum as my body struggled to breathe. I tried to reason that there was no truth in the words I had just heard. But this echo of despair was relentless, and I was forced to face a truth I couldn’t deny: my daughter was dead, and the rest of my earthly life would be lived without her. Memories of my daughter spun in my mind and fear began to grip my heart. Would I forget her laugh, her voice, her smile, her touch: I desperately tried to capture and seal my memories of her before they escaped me forever.<br />
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There are still days when my heart is in my throat and I struggle to swallow. I look at the calendar, and it betrays my heart. How can it be years when it still feels like yesterday?<br />
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<b>This is an abyss of grief beyond all measure that still breaks me.</b><br />
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<b><br /></b>There is comfort in knowing the Lord. His grace is sufficient. But this does not mean our sorrow ends. It means we are never alone in our sorrow.<br />
<b>To grieve is not to disbelieve; grief is the measure of love. </b><br />
It is His grace that points us to another day. My mother’s heart knows that every child I carried will be etched on my heart forever. When I get to heaven, I will know the baby I never knew, this child will be standing beside their sister, Kimberly.<br />
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In Kimberly's Bible...<br />
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...there was taped this small packet of sand...<br />
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...and the verse it was illustrating is found in Psalms 139:15-18.<br />
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Jane’s Journey from Kenyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17036771446292244392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-47135528755739467602017-01-23T12:11:00.001-06:002017-11-03T05:09:14.216-05:00...And Then Came Grief... my daughter died!<h3 class="post-title entry-title" itemprop="name" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; position: relative;">
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<b>I collapse to the floor and mourn.</b> Grief has come to forever intrude on my life. The hours, days, months, and years pass and yet I do not perceive them, I am stuck in that dreadful moment when I lost you.</div>
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<b>Grief, the visitor who never leaves,</b> inserts itself into every aspect of my life. It shadows me like an impending storm...I feel it. I hear it. I see it and it overtakes me. It dulls every happy moment. I am ravished by it’s unending depth of sorrow...again...and again, until all I want is to die and end this aching of my heart.</div>
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<b>There is a confounding complexity to Grief and Time:</b></div>
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<i>Grief... </i>you are both joy and sorrow to me for without love there would be no grief and I am eternally thankful to know this love.</div>
<i style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif; font-size: 14.85px;">Time...</i><span style="color: #333333; font-family: arial, tahoma, helvetica, freesans, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.85px;"> I want to remember every memory as if it were made today and I fear what you will steal from me, and yet, time is the only thing that draws me closer to when I will see my daughter again.</span></span><br />
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<b>Grief, I stand in the path of your devastation, sometimes unable to move,</b> many times not knowing how to pickup the pieces, valiantly you have tried to conquer me and you almost succeed.</div>
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<b>Grief, I make a resolve, your lessons are cruel but I choose to walk with you.</b> I do not fear you. You will not make my heart cold. I will not be isolated in my grief. And, as with an impending storm, I choose to be prepared for the despair you will forever shower on me.</div>
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I will smile through you.</div>
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I will joy through you.</div>
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And, by God’s grace, I will live through you.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></div>
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<i>“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death... </i></div>
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<i>...thou art with me...”.</i> <i>~</i> <b>Psalm 23:4</b></div>
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<i>“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; </i></div>
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<i>of whom shall I be afraid?”</i> <i>~</i> <b>Psalm 27:1</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b><i>Kimberly Renee Coley</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;">September 7, 1986</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;">December 17, 2014</span></div>
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Jane’s Journey from Kenyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17036771446292244392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-39728510545591697672015-11-23T12:45:00.000-06:002015-11-23T12:45:49.520-06:00The Dictatorship of Cancer ~ From a care-givers perspective.<h3 class="post-title entry-title" itemprop="name" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; font-stretch: normal; margin: 0px; position: relative;">
The Dictatorship of Cancer ~ From a care-givers perspective.</h3>
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Written by Jane Coley.<br /><br /><b>The uninvited entity takes up residence in your body.</b> The reality of how long it has been with you eludes us all. The attention this dictator demands is endless, and your body is no longer yours. You become the ruled, and your every thought is controlled by it’s demands. We helplessly watch as you are forced into acknowledging this unwelcome entity and as your life begins it’s journey of being forever changed.<br /><br /><i><b>“I hate you, cancer!”</b></i> Are the words you often repeat, as you look in the mirror and stare at the image of the stranger you are becoming. Skin hangs from your once toned body... hair is gone... your stamina dwindles as you try to focus your thoughts. You lie down for a nap, and while you slept a new day began... or is it still yesterday. You silently look for the clues that will tell you <i><u>when</u></i> you are, as soon as you have detected <i><u>where</u></i> you are. <i>“I hate you, cancer!”</i> you mutter again, and your thoughts darken with hopelessness.<br /><br /><b>Normal...if things could just be normal again</b>...and you mourn for <i><u>your</u></i> normal as if a friend had passed away. There is no normal when cancer has you in it’s grip. You wonder what it was you ever did to deserve this life-changing crisis. But there are no answers, just endless questions.<br /><br /><b>Decades ago people used to ask, <i>“What is this thing called cancer?”</i> </b> But, with the passing of time, this elusive stranger has become a dictator of many lives. We can recite the names of family and friends, as though reading from a written list, of those we know who have been forever changed by this pitiless intruder called cancer.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: medium;">My Brother’s Cancer Story</span></b></div>
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With his permission.</div>
<br /><b>His toned body had been forged by determination and grit.</b> He had kept a record of his running statistics, and the year-end results had totaled almost a thousand miles. All his weight-lifting endeavors had also payed off, and his muscular body was the “trophy” any 30 year old would be proud of. But my brother had just celebrated his 59th birthday! It was February 2014 and Johnny’s age-defying efforts had kept him incredibly fit, for a man of any age.<br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; padding: 4px; position: relative;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEierIhthyphenhyphenvLvxKq2g2V3wtz1wIWeHu76ht5fCqF7_oMjg-qsvmiHrpGAxkv9GyRmgn1BKqo6dV60R48xNK0QZHUPotTclSMk15S5pMUa9q4EcTpnFfGHUG04L3QNrTqkje0FbxHoYPA9yE/s1600/John211102015%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; color: #771100; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="211" kasperskylab_antibanner="on" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEierIhthyphenhyphenvLvxKq2g2V3wtz1wIWeHu76ht5fCqF7_oMjg-qsvmiHrpGAxkv9GyRmgn1BKqo6dV60R48xNK0QZHUPotTclSMk15S5pMUa9q4EcTpnFfGHUG04L3QNrTqkje0FbxHoYPA9yE/s320/John211102015%255B1%255D.jpg" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11.88px; text-align: center;">Johnny before Multiple Myeloma.</td></tr>
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<br /><b>In the beginning, </b>the changes were slight...a little ache here...feeling a little extra tired and just not resting well. His running statistics began to decrease. To compensate, he exerted greater efforts, but the lessening results were frustrating to him. The pain in his back was also becoming unbearable, and Johnny decided to see a doctor to help resolve these disturbing issues.<br /><br /><b>After weeks of waiting for the results of multiple lab tests, </b>an assortment of full-body scans, with speculations of heart disease and kidney problems, the results were finally determined. You have cancer...<br /><br /><b>When my brother’s cancer was first diagnosed,</b> we were told things we didn’t understand... Multiple Myeloma... stage 3... lesions from head to toe. Literally every bone in his body showed signs of the deteriorating effects of this rare blood cancer.<br /><br /><div>
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<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><i>“Multiple myeloma is a type of blood cancer. It starts in your bone marrow, the spongy tissue inside bones. This is where your body makes blood cells, including a certain type called plasma cells. These cells can grow out of control and crowd out the normal, healthy ones in your bone marrow. When they build up, they form a tumor called a myeloma. The name “multiple myeloma” means there is more than one tumor. </i></li>
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<li style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Multiple myeloma can affect your body in different ways. It can make your bones weak and easy to break. Because your bone marrow makes blood, multiple myeloma can affect how many healthy blood cells you have. Too few red blood cells (called anemia) can make you feel weak, short of breath, or dizzy. Too few white blood cells (called leukopenia) can make it easy to get infections like pneumonia. It can take longer to recover from them, too. Too few platelets (called thrombocytopenia) makes it harder for wounds to heal. Even minor cuts can bleed too much.” </i></li>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(Information from: http://www.webmd.com/cancer/multiple-myeloma-15/myeloma-overview )</span><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; padding: 4px; position: relative; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6KwxWmFqdxMuMY3Wtw8Mbn8kiMhxJKofehE362yt4UpUs-7w3UPAbw-O5_uXMrZmDs4Ll9tYdmWjV7hfQ2rCnF78MnkXMOQi6yShAmh9C2d-mhLJYmevM64zNhgmdEgI5IhyphenhyphenbgOBFLlA/s1600/John11102015%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; color: #771100; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="320" kasperskylab_antibanner="on" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6KwxWmFqdxMuMY3Wtw8Mbn8kiMhxJKofehE362yt4UpUs-7w3UPAbw-O5_uXMrZmDs4Ll9tYdmWjV7hfQ2rCnF78MnkXMOQi6yShAmh9C2d-mhLJYmevM64zNhgmdEgI5IhyphenhyphenbgOBFLlA/s320/John11102015%255B1%255D.jpg" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="194" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11.88px; text-align: center;">Johnny before his cancer.</td></tr>
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<b>What termites do to a tree is what this cancer, multiple myeloma, does to the bones of its captives.</b><br /><b><br />Multiple myeloma is considered to be incurable but treatable. Studies have shown that survival for myeloma patients has improved substantially over the last few decades.</b><br /><br />My brother’s diagnosis, and the stem-cell transplant he was going to have, were part of the reason the decision was made for me to leave Kenya, for a short time, and fly to Arkansas. Our mother was the other reason. Mom had been struggling with other unrelated issues, and her emotional state was too stressed to bear another difficulty.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; padding: 4px; position: relative;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11.88px; text-align: center;">Johnny after the harvesting of his stem cells.</td></tr>
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<b>My brother, Johnny, and I have lived very different lives.</b> To start with, my husband and I are Independent Baptist missionaries, and, believing it was God’s calling on our lives, we have served as missionaries to Kenya, East Africa since 1995. We have lived in Kenya since March of 1998. Johnny, by his own definition, is an agnostic. He summed up his philosophy of life to me with the lyrics of an old song:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I don't know where we come from</i></div>
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<i>Don't know where we're goin' to</i></div>
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<i>But if all this should have a reason</i></div>
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<i>We would be the last to know</i></div>
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<i>So let's just hope there is a promised land</i></div>
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<i>Hang on 'til then as best as you can</i></div>
<br /><b>I have always prayed for my family</b>, and the urgency of this particular crisis had me reaching out to as many people as I possibly could, without invading my brother’s privacy. <i>“No public postings on facebook!”</i> was his request, and I didn’t blame him one bit. Cancer is a personal journey.<br /><br /><b>I had privately reached out to trusted friends and fellow believers</b>, pastors I knew and my BMW group (Baptist Missionary Women) for prayer. The BMW is a universal group of women living all around the world serving as missionaries. Enlisting their prayer help meant it was possible for my brother’s name to be called out to God every hour, of every day, and I knew many of these amazing ladies would pray for Johnny as if he were their own brother.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: medium;">Fighting for His Life</span></b></div>
<br /><b>It was May 8, 2014, and I had just arrived from Kenya.</b> Johnny was still in the hospital at UAMS (University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences) waiting for his stem-cell transplant. He had already undergone the harvesting process, which required a 24/7 treatment plan. Twenty-four hours, for seven days, of chemo-drugs being continually pumped into his body, and then the harvesting of his stem-cells would take place. Later, his own stem-cells would be transplanted back into his body on June 5, 2014. During this time period, Johnny remained hospitalized and was unable to walk without assistance. He used a walker and had to put on a back brace before he could take the short walk from his hospital room to the sun-room halfway down the corridor. My brother was in the fight of his life, and we thought the cure was going to kill him before the cancer had done it’s unmerciful deed.<br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; padding: 4px; position: relative; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigmY6SJlKLOmbsAr7GBTrFWc_kXp0l4Qmf6vIFtArp8TuXi56Wr8kqIHUYTqRS5yfhL1cCYukXhr5-u-Vn2v0HczoWBHvHndpkWElR57kH57jJyXZq1bncBkb65USvVYltRgYa0iWbWzg/s1600/IPhone+pics+070+%25282%2529.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; color: #771100; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="320" kasperskylab_antibanner="on" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigmY6SJlKLOmbsAr7GBTrFWc_kXp0l4Qmf6vIFtArp8TuXi56Wr8kqIHUYTqRS5yfhL1cCYukXhr5-u-Vn2v0HczoWBHvHndpkWElR57kH57jJyXZq1bncBkb65USvVYltRgYa0iWbWzg/s320/IPhone+pics+070+%25282%2529.PNG" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11.88px; text-align: center;">Johnny needing help to walk.</td></tr>
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<br /><b>The cancer treatment itself had made Johnny’s body more sensitive to his environment.</b> In the middle of summer, he struggled to stay warm...to eat...to sleep...to drink liquids of any sort...to tolerate smells and odors...it seemed sounds were also heighten as he complained about how loud I was when I stirred my morning cup of tea. Almost weekly he would say to me, <i>“I don’t think I’m going to make it.” </i> Everything had changed so quickly and drastically for him that it was as if his entire body and mind were in a continual state of shock. Everyday was different, but nothing was better, and it seemed there was no end to these debilitating changes.<br /><br /><br /><b>Johnny didn’t mask or hide his emotions, and he was in a fragile state.</b> You could see it in his eyes: there was no hope, and there was no desire to fight. He had contemplated what he would do to end his life, and I think his greatest fear was that he would become too weak to balance thought with action, and he would be forced to live. Thoughts of his adult son and daughter, who would be left to deal with the heartbreak of his decision, kept him from taking his life. Years earlier his ex-wife, and mother of his children, had committed suicide; and Johnny knew he couldn’t put them through it again.<br /><br /><b>A few weeks after his stem cell transplant,</b> Johnny was discharged from the hospital. He still had almost daily labs to report back for, and I was his chauffeur. Not only did I drive him back and forth from the hospital, but, in his weakened condition, I also wheeled him around the hospital in a wheelchair. There were multiple destinations to go to for the different scans and blood work needed to re-evaluate his progress and response to his recent stem-cell transplant.<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br /><br /><b>Not only was Johnny fighting the physical and emotional repercussions of this cancer, but he was also fighting to hold on to his independence. </b>I realized I needed to become more to my brother than just his chauffeur, and I waited for those moments when he would exhaustively relinquish his control and let me help him.<br /><br /><b>Mounds of information were coming at him,</b> and I started taking written notes while we sat together with the multiple myeloma oncology specialist. There were medication changes to make notations about and appointments to keep track of. Johnny and I would talk about the things he wanted to ask the doctor and the things he didn’t want brought up in the conversation. I would make the notes to help him remember for his next oncologist evaluation.<br /><br /><b>I also daily helped him</b> by wrapping the port in his neck to keep it dry when he showered. I learned the detailed process of how to change the sterile dressing on his port, too. I learned the process of how to give him his home infusion of antibiotics, when he was fighting off another infection. Because Johnny was needing help with his wheelchair, I had also been in the room when the bone marrow biopsy of his spine was preformed. Though I chose not to watch as the doctor tapped the instrument into his vertebrae, I couldn’t escape the sounds of the tapping and scraping as the doctor removed a portion of his bone for testing. Thankfully Johnny was sufficiently sedated and didn’t feel anything but a slight pressure on his back.<br /><br /><b>Johnny would need to repeat the bone marrow biopsy multiple times.</b> There were also other exams and scans that would be repeated before his next oncologist evaluation. There was the MUGA scan of the heart and an EKG, a full body MRI with contrast (which often lasted for 2 hours), a PET scan, CT, and lots of blood work and labs. All of this was necessary to evaluate how successful the transplant had been and how to proceed further. But Johnny wasn’t bouncing back as expected. It was as if he was taking one step forward and two steps back. He continued to lose weight. He began to run a fever and it wasn’t long before another infection had him back in the hospital. This same scenario would repeat and continued far beyond the doctor’s expectations, and Johnny was struggling.<br /><br /><b>We watched as he seemingly melted before our eyes.</b> His once toned body had dropped a total of 56 lbs. and most of that was during the 16 weeks I was with him. I watched as his friends would visit him: it was all they could do not to respond with shock when they saw how drastically different he looked. With his bald head and skeleton face the only thing that assured them they were in the right room was when Johnny greeted them by name.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; padding: 4px; position: relative;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4zZNVflizrTfGc44Kup2wChl5PytUGDAZ2G-k9_-CLmY1bT16K9RPHP2kEcKmPyJoHiVwD7xPBDW6z8hS-GlDSwId_bP8s3H6e8a5UjkJy7bwkP1QaERFy1S4Q7496UAWQLl2sMionUo/s1600/IMG_0149+%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; color: #771100; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="320" kasperskylab_antibanner="on" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4zZNVflizrTfGc44Kup2wChl5PytUGDAZ2G-k9_-CLmY1bT16K9RPHP2kEcKmPyJoHiVwD7xPBDW6z8hS-GlDSwId_bP8s3H6e8a5UjkJy7bwkP1QaERFy1S4Q7496UAWQLl2sMionUo/s320/IMG_0149+%25282%2529.JPG" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11.88px; text-align: center;">Johnny wearing a funny cap of hair.</td></tr>
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<b>I remember the day his height was rechecked, and inches had also been stolen from him</b>. One of the RN’s attempted to offer a little encouragement by telling us she knew a patient who had lost 8 inches in height to this form of cancer. But there was nothing reassuring in her words especially when you feel so helpless to stop the effects of this cancer. We were left wondering how much more this monster would take before it was stopped.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: medium;">A Glimpse of Hope</span></b></div>
<br /><b>It was July, and Johnny was starting to show some signs of improvement.</b> With a rented hospital bed in his living room, Johnny was home, and we were again making the almost daily trips back to the hospital for blood work and labs, as well as infusions of blood, or platelets, or other needed fluids. He was still struggling to put on weight but he was getting around a little better, and he had started using a walker instead of the wheelchair.<br /><br /><b>While I was in Arkansas, I was enjoying as many opportunities as I could to be with my daughter, Kimberly.</b> Of our five adult children, Kimberly was the only one still living in Arkansas, though she was planning on moving to Oklahoma the following summer. My other four children were all living in different states and time zones. Billy was in Washington. Jennifer lived in Florida. Stephanie and her family lived in Oklahoma, while Abigail and her husband were then stationed in California. While I was back, Billy had made plans to visit, but it was a surprise to Kimberly and to me when Jennifer and Abigail also came to spend a vacation week in Arkansas. Stephanie and her family were only able to come for the weekend; but, for those few days, we were together; and it was great! It had been 7 years since we were all in the same place at the same time, and we were making the very best of every moment together!<br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding: 4px; position: relative; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrwx5SLUe9SGQfr8HfKElvKeBlobe0EER5F7eriv5sgJBmCXB3dBD-oonM7DR-4CYm5oLELGSndEMyuMK7Y2Ns4ebFmMfmcPp7baqqZYRTciF_pMIqVp5YemZRyN04qd6fBfE_3sw7NWA/s1600/1560731_744804502249984_5165197086919375800_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="color: #771100; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="240" kasperskylab_antibanner="on" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrwx5SLUe9SGQfr8HfKElvKeBlobe0EER5F7eriv5sgJBmCXB3dBD-oonM7DR-4CYm5oLELGSndEMyuMK7Y2Ns4ebFmMfmcPp7baqqZYRTciF_pMIqVp5YemZRyN04qd6fBfE_3sw7NWA/s320/1560731_744804502249984_5165197086919375800_n.jpg" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11.88px;">Far left, me holding my grandson, Kacey, Mom, Abigail, Billy,<br />Jennifer, Kimberly with the sun shining in her face, Chad and Stephanie with Kayin.</td></tr>
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<br /><b>By August, Johnny was starting to get around better</b>. He was now only occasionally using a cane and didn’t need the walker or wheelchair any more. His routine blood work and labs were down to 3 days a week, instead of daily, so we felt a release from that, too. He was beginning to drive again, and he had started lifting weights. Johnny would often talk about, and mourn for, what he used to be able to do, in his pre-myeloma days. But his focus had to be on the daily gains, not the losses of days gone by. He had to mentally bury the old Johnny who could run 7 miles a day and bench press 150 lbs. and purposely celebrate each new accomplishment of his post-myeloma returning strength. I would be returning to Kenya soon, and it was a blessing to see that Johnny was doing so much better. If he couldn’t manage on his own, it would have been very difficult for me to leave him.<br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; padding: 4px; position: relative; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcTGRd1TVfpVrIQhYkMu6ba79CaTkUTME3HvMOipKHhqPtjukPmcn_IeXzuufW20xEL1QWWBfLPacjkso3zVU7bLIIZHOCW1mPNmcb_MwbALl6rA4MU0sWibUK2259z06u_mqMc5cgGIo/s1600/IMG_0346+%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; color: #771100; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="320" kasperskylab_antibanner="on" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcTGRd1TVfpVrIQhYkMu6ba79CaTkUTME3HvMOipKHhqPtjukPmcn_IeXzuufW20xEL1QWWBfLPacjkso3zVU7bLIIZHOCW1mPNmcb_MwbALl6rA4MU0sWibUK2259z06u_mqMc5cgGIo/s320/IMG_0346+%25282%2529.JPG" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11.88px; text-align: center;">Johnny with his good friend, Randy.<br />They used to be almost equal in height.</td></tr>
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<br /><b>The day I left to go to the airport, </b>my brother tried to tell me how much he appreciated me being with him, but the words caught in his throat, and all he could do was cry. We hugged each other, and I gave him a cross-stitch I had been working on while we spent our many hours together at the hospital. I told him that every stitch represented a prayer that I had prayed for him. Kimberly and my sister had arrived, and it was time for me to go. Johnny would be going to the hospital for his routine blood work and labs: making his first trip without me.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: medium;">The Spiral of Despair</span></b></div>
<br /><b>It was September, and the news I was getting from my mom and sister was that Johnny wasn’t doing well. </b> Since I was back in Kenya, it was difficult to know what was going on.<br /><br />The love of his life, whom he had been with for the last 7 years, didn’t want him in her house any more. I could understand how it was difficult for her to come home from work not knowing what condition she might find Johnny in. I could understand how she would want him to be where others could keep an eye on him, but what I couldn’t understand is why she changed all the locks on the doors of her house. <b>The cruelty of that action and the finality of her decision spoke volumes: the relationship was over.</b><br /><br />Johnny, having sold his house and all his furnishings, had no where else to go but to move in with our mother. <b> His heart was broken, and he began to spiral into a deep depression.</b> He quit taking his medications, and Mom was at her wits-end as to what she could do to help him. I would talk to him over the phone, and I could hear the despair in his voice. He cried and wondered why she had thrown him out, and I struggled to find words of encouragement for him.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: medium;"><b>My Darkest Days</b></span></div>
<br /><b>It was December...and the worst news of my life shattered me forever...Kimberly was dead!</b> My beautiful 28 year old daughter had died of the flu. She had gone to see a doctor on December 13th and died on December 17th, 2014, alone in her apartment. Kimberly’s dad and I both had spoken with the police officers who had found her. They were compassionate and gave us the information we were wanting. Bill then called our travel agent and arranged for us to be on a plane the very same evening flying from Kenya to Arkansas.<br /><br /><b>We knew Kimberly was in heaven.</b> <b> She had trusted the Lord as her Savior.</b> Knowing she had made her salvation decision years ago was a great comfort to our hearts. But we were still in shock. How could our young healthy daughter die of the flu? We were comforted in knowing that her death had not taken our Lord God by surprise: He would walk with us through this unimaginable tragedy and help us bear our deepest sorrow.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; padding: 4px; position: relative;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTujewh3oiUXk3rb0Dp0aBm9rMkEihsYT8QlOoKZ-Kf-cfh5wZPoukHbAlUrAceUsQKN_g-4LUuRJCyzTfIXK9cUwDhyphenhyphentSsf4BW8tzSPRsXBiYDOikr8PtSJuMOmXinD-3vxVjVAX-2Go/s1600/10428092_10205828645621860_5778814813932053280_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; color: #771100; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" height="320" kasperskylab_antibanner="on" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTujewh3oiUXk3rb0Dp0aBm9rMkEihsYT8QlOoKZ-Kf-cfh5wZPoukHbAlUrAceUsQKN_g-4LUuRJCyzTfIXK9cUwDhyphenhyphentSsf4BW8tzSPRsXBiYDOikr8PtSJuMOmXinD-3vxVjVAX-2Go/s320/10428092_10205828645621860_5778814813932053280_n.jpg" style="border: none; position: relative;" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11.88px; text-align: center;">Kimberly excited to see her brother, Billy.</td></tr>
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God is omniscient, which means He is all knowing: He knows the timing of our birth, as well as the timing of our death. <b>But He does not create the events that makes these things happen.</b> I believe in accidents. I believe in free-will; freedom of personal choice with consequences and repercussions of our choices. I believe <i>“that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” </i>as Romans 8:28 promises. I do not believe that all things are good, or right, but I do believe that even the worst events and happenings of my life are brought together for good by my sovereign Lord God.<br /><br /><br /><b>My brother's cancer had brought me to Arkansas for the summer, </b>which in turn brought all my adult children together. Had it not been for my brother’s cancer, and my decision to help him, those moments and memories with all of my children together would never have happened. With that in mind, <b>I asked my brother not to be too angry or bitter with his cancer. </b> It was the event that gave me 16 weeks with Kimberly and a weekend with all my children together that otherwise never would have happened. I cannot tell you how comforting those memories are to me now.<br /><br />(More about Kimberly:<br /><b>"Growing In Grief"</b> <a href="http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/08/growing-in-grief.html" style="color: #771100; text-decoration: none;">http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/08/growing-in-grief.html</a><br /><b>"The Most Unnatural Thing"</b> <a href="http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/06/the-most-unnatural-thing.html" style="color: #771100; text-decoration: none;">http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/06/the-most-unnatural-thing.html</a><br /><b>"Too Young to Die"</b> <a href="http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/06/too-young-to-die.html" style="color: #771100; text-decoration: none;">http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/06/too-young-to-die.html</a><br /><b> "Embracing Grief"</b> <a href="http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/05/grief-knows-grief.html" style="color: #771100; text-decoration: none;"> http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/05/grief-knows-grief.html</a><br /><b>"The Proving Ground"</b> <a href="http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2014/10/the-proving-ground_27.html" style="color: #771100; text-decoration: none;">http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2014/10/the-proving-ground_27.html</a><br /><b>"What You Don't Know About the Flu can Kill You"</b><a href="http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/09/flu-shots-are-helpful-but-not-always.html" style="color: #771100; text-decoration: none;">http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/09/flu-shots-are-helpful-but-not-always.html</a> )<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: medium;">His Darkest Days</span></b></div>
<br /><b>My daughter’s death had brought me back to Arkansas during my brother’s darkest days. I was engulfed with grief, but my brother needed help.</b> When I arrived, Johnny was sick, weak, depressed, mourning the loss of Kimberly with me and in a drug stupor. He was keeping his medications in a box, and when the mood struck him, he would look through the bottles of pills, read the label, and take a few. I asked him if I could help him and he said <i>“No! I have my system, and I’m doing fine with it.”</i><br /><br /><b>On the day of Kimberly’s funeral (December 23, 2014)</b>, I’m not sure if Johnny has any memory of what happened. He was at the funeral, but Mom struggled to keep him quiet. He kept lifting his hand, as if picking fruit off of a tree, and she couldn’t figure out what he was doing or trying to say. Later that evening, Kimberly’s church family (New Horizon Baptist Church) and her pastor (Bro. Kevin Bernard) hosted a meal for all of us. During that mealtime, my son Billy received a phone call from his friend telling us that an ambulance was at Mom’s house. My husband and I immediately left the dinner and went to the UAMS emergency room to find Johnny. He would spend the next 10 days in the hospital, and other than regulating his medications, they couldn’t find anything else to treat.<br /><br /><b>It was after the New Year, 2015, when Johnny was discharged from the hospital.</b> He was still weak and needed to use a wheelchair, but he was willing to have me find out all I could about his medications and more willing for me to help him again. I began taking him to his routine blood work and labs, which were now down to twice a week.<br /><br /><b>My husband and I had taken a few days to visit our daughter and her family in Oklahoma.</b> When we got back, Mom called me to come and see Johnny. Mom was doing all she could to get him to eat and take in fluids, but each time she checked on him he would tell her to leave him alone. In the short time that I was gone he had started having intestinal issues and was growing weaker every day.<br /><br /><b>When I got to Mom’s house, Johnny was sleeping. He had been sleeping all day.</b> The bedroom was dark. I put my hand on his shoulder to let him know I was there; he was cold to the touch and slow to respond to me. I asked if I could take him to the hospital, but Johnny was adamant that he was never going to be admitted to the hospital again. It was Saturday, and it would be Tuesday before he was scheduled for blood work and labs, and I couldn’t talk him into going to the hospital any sooner.<br /><br /><b>On Tuesday, he was at his weakest point: too weak to even dress himself, so I helped.</b> His eyes were sunken into his head, and I knew things were looking very bad for him. While we were waiting for him to be called back for his labs, Johnny grabbed at his chest and began to struggle with his breathing. I got the attention of the RN, and after a short conversation, he was being taken to the emergency room. After his blood work, labs, and CT were read the results showed that Johnny was in renal failure. <b>The next 24 hours were crucial to his future health.</b> If they could not get his body back on track soon, it was likely the damage to his kidneys would be irreversible, and he would need dialysis for the remainder of his life. They began the process of admitting Johnny to the hospital, but he stopped them. He wasn’t going to be admitted again. He had convinced himself that he could fight this on an outpatient bases.<br /><br /><b>Since Johnny had refused to be hospitalized,</b> we were now in Infusion 4 where they were trying to give him fluids before letting him go home. His body was ice cold, and he wasn’t even shivering.<b> </b> Four nurses had tried ten times to get a vein to start a line, and he never flinched at any of their attempts. I was asked if I had legal documentation giving me the right to make medical decisions on his behalf, but Johnny was never incompetent - just stubborn.<br /><br /><b>I begged him to be admitted to the hospital. </b> I told him, <i>“I can’t take you home like this! Don’t do this to Mom. Don’t make her watch you die! Mom has already buried one son, her husband, and a granddaughter; and now you are going to make her bury you!”</i> But all he would say to me was, <i>“I’m sorry! I just can’t stay in the hospital again. Take me home.”</i><br /><br /><b>For the next few hours</b> I watched as doctor after doctor came into his room trying to talk Johnny into changing his mind about staying in the hospital for treatment. I was sure if he forced me into taking him home that we would soon be planning his funeral. I talked to him about being saved and ready for heaven, but he was settled on his own philosophy of death. So I started talking to him about having his affairs in order; did he have a will? who would get his money? his car? his collection of guns and knives?...anything that would force him to realize his decision on this day, at this moment, would either lengthen or shorten his life in a very real way.<br /><br /><b>Nine hours after arriving at the hospital</b> and with the gentle encouragement from one of the doctors, Johnny finally agreed to give them two days in hospital to treat him and then he would leave. It was four days into his hospital stay when Johnny finally submitted to staying until they got his body back on track. His resolve to be patient until he was well was the surrender his body needed to win this battle. It would be almost three weeks before Johnny would finally be discharged.<br /><br /><b>This particular time in the hospital had settled some medical issues for him. </b> For one, he was continually fighting the gut infection know as Clostridim difficile (C-Diff). One infectious disease doctor finally said, <i>“It seems you have gotten better, but you have never quite gotten over this infection.” </i>Johnny was put on vancomycin for 10 weeks. Less than a week after finishing this round of antibiotics, the C-Diff was back. It would take another 8 weeks of antibiotics before the infection was finally under control.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: medium;">The Incredible Difference</span></b></div>
<br /><b>It was the end of March, and it was time for my husband and I to return to Kenya.</b> Johnny was feeling well enough to start looking for a house to buy, and by May, he was moving into his new home. He was regaining his strength everyday and was back to lifting weights and taking long walks. Johnny had also reconnected with a girlfriend from his past. This lovely lady makes him smile everyday.<br /><br /><b>It is now, at my brother’s request, that I have written this his cancer story.</b> Johnny wrote to me, <i>“If you want to you can take credit for all the people that were praying for me feel free. It's an incredible [thing] to me. Never have I went from being so sick to how I feel today. How getting kicked out to having a house I can call my own.” </i>I know the Lord responded to the many prayers that were prayed for my brother, and I know he attributes this brighter-side of his life to <i>“all the people that were praying for me</i> [him]”.<br /><br /><b>Through all this,</b> Johnny recognizes that prayer made the difference, <i>“It’s an incredible</i>[thing]<i> to me.”</i><br /><i><br /></i><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11.88px; text-align: center;">Johnny at our memorial balloon launch for Kimberly.<br />March 2015.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11.88px; text-align: center;">My brother, Johnny.<br />November 2015</td></tr>
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Jane’s Journey from Kenyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17036771446292244392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-29306142500360477172015-09-15T13:56:00.000-05:002015-09-24T06:50:50.473-05:00What You Don't Know About the Flu Can Kill You<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kimberly</td></tr>
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Flu shots are helpful, but not always the sure cure for avoiding the flu. Yes, I do urge you to get a flu shot...but, even more than that, I urge you to search the internet for information about the flu. Because...even in this day and age, people will die of the flu...as did our beautiful Kimberly.<br />
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<b> Flu Awareness</b><br />
<b><br /></b> <b></b> <b>I am not a medical professional of any sort.</b> But, I am a broken-hearted mother whose beautiful 28 year old daughter died of the flu. And, for that reason, I want to raise awareness of the potential deadly danger the flu virus is capable of causing. Yes, in this day and age...people will die of the flu! <br />
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<b>Kimberly had absolutely no health problems.</b> She was not diabetic. She was not over weight, nor was she under weight. She did not have any autoimmune diseases. Her heart was healthy, her lungs were healthy, kidneys and bladder were all healthy, no cancer, no thyroid problems, no medical issues of any sort...so stated by the Coroner who examined her body after her death. Kimberly didn’t even have trouble with ear infections, as a child. But, my beautiful 28 years 3 months 10 days old daughter died on December 17, 2014 and the official Coroner’s report listed the cause as Influenza B Victoria, a particular strain of the flu virus. <br />
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<b>What you don’t know about the flu can kill you.</b> (Much of the information contained in this post was gathered from the CDC, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, website. You are welcome to do your own research.) <br />
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<b>Did you know that there are 3 types of flu?</b> Influenza, A, B and C, and, within those three types there are sub-groups of the flu virus. For example, the distinction of the influenza type A is that this flu virus is transmitted between animals and humans. The transmission of this type A flu virus has resulted in the swine flu and the bird flu, to name the most popular ones. Influenza B is only transmitted between humans. Influenza C is a milder form of the flu virus. <br />
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<b>This would explain why there were 7 types of flu vaccines</b> on the market during the 2013-2014 season. And yet, when you get a flu shot, you seldom know what type of flu virus it is protecting you from...unless you ask. Did you know that you are also able to receive a flu shot that will cover 3 and 4 different types of the flu viruses?<br />
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<b>Flu viruses are constantly changing.</b> Each flu season, different flu viruses can spread, and they can affect people differently based on differences in the immune system. Even healthy children and adults can get very sick from the flu. <br />
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<b>Flu seasons are unpredictable.</b> The severity of influenza seasons can differ substantially from year to year. Over a period of 30 years, between 1976 and 2006, estimates of yearly flu associated deaths in the United States range from a low of about 3,000 to a high of about 49,000 people during the most severe season.<br />
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<b>Most seasonal flu activity typically occurs between October and May.</b> Flu activity most commonly peaks in the United States between December and February.<br />
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<b>There are several </b><b>flu vaccine options for the 2015-2016 flu season.</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW3uH3i-tHRcjSZ1zUZobuEBwGGYbmJCl8jnIn0X5WH1jpcoQeT-FYB3u7_-HlEG0WNQQCKPgsqZjRk6ZTeAZ6r61Dq3CarlyuvDkIFyUljysxCO-jIMZ65JmBCSjXCTthYvPz1feJde0/s1600/IMG_0365.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgW3uH3i-tHRcjSZ1zUZobuEBwGGYbmJCl8jnIn0X5WH1jpcoQeT-FYB3u7_-HlEG0WNQQCKPgsqZjRk6ZTeAZ6r61Dq3CarlyuvDkIFyUljysxCO-jIMZ65JmBCSjXCTthYvPz1feJde0/s200/IMG_0365.JPG" width="150" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlD9_oJacWu5pdyngFArEx8ZR47Uha5XMBP6waAkjqMB4I1TR9XeBrLZE17ILNLloPVPmMqDCbHkt7RRGx9kyPloT-DGxc0dsS2V2VFgKu_Or7m2zuZdITZJFd75Pu83xekYodxexEOeA/s1600/IMG_0352.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlD9_oJacWu5pdyngFArEx8ZR47Uha5XMBP6waAkjqMB4I1TR9XeBrLZE17ILNLloPVPmMqDCbHkt7RRGx9kyPloT-DGxc0dsS2V2VFgKu_Or7m2zuZdITZJFd75Pu83xekYodxexEOeA/s200/IMG_0352.JPG" width="150" /></a><b> Traditional flu vaccines made to protect against three different flu viruses (called "trivalent" vaccines) are available. </b>In addition, flu vaccines made to protect against four different flu viruses (called "quadrivalent" vaccines) also are available.<br />
Trivalent flu vaccine protects against two influenza A viruses (an H1N1 and an H3N2) and an influenza B virus. The following trivalent flu vaccines are available:<br />
Standard-dose trivalent shots that are manufactured using virus grown in eggs. There are several different flu shots of this type available, and they are approved for people of different ages. Some are approved for use in people as young as 6 months of age. Most flu shots are given with a needle. One standard dose trivalent shot also can be given with a jet injector, for persons aged 18 through 64 years. <br />
A high-dose trivalent shot, approved for people 65 and older. <br />
A trivalent shot containing virus grown in cell culture, which is approved for people 18 and older. <br />
A recombinant trivalent shot that is egg-free, approved for people 18 years and older.<br />
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<b> The quadrivalent flu vaccine protects against two influenza A viruses and two influenza B viruses. The following quadrivalent flu vaccines are available:</b><br />
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<dir><dir><b>A quadrivalent flu shot</b> that is manufactured using virus grown in eggs. There are several different flu shots of this type available, and they are approved for people of different ages. Some are approved for use in people as young as 6 months of age.<br /><b>An intradermal quadrivalent shot</b>, which is injected into the skin instead of the muscle and uses a much smaller needle than the regular flu shot. It is approved for people 18 through 64 years of age.<br /><b>A quadrivalent nasal spray vaccine</b>, approved for people 2 through 49 years of age.<b></b></dir></dir><br />
<b><br /> What should I do if I get sick with the flu?</b> <br />
<b></b><b>Antiviral drugs</b> are prescription drugs that can be used to treat flu illness. People at high risk of serious flu complications (such as children younger than 2 years, adults 65 and older, pregnant women, and people with certain medical conditions) and people who are very sick with flu (such as those hospitalized because of flu) should get antiviral drugs. Some other people can be treated with antivirals at their health care professional’s discretion. Treating high risk people or people who are very sick with flu with antiviral drugs is very important. Studies show that prompt treatment with antiviral drugs can prevent serious flu complications. Prompt treatment can mean the difference between having a milder illness versus very serious illness that could result in a hospital stay.<br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: small;"></span></u></b><u><span style="font-size: small;"></span></u><span style="font-size: small;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><u><b>Treatment with antivirals works best when begun within 48 hours of getting sick, but can still be beneficial when given later in the course of illness. </b></u></span><br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></u></b> Antiviral drugs are effective across all age-and risk groups. Studies show that antiviral drugs are under-prescribed for people who are at high risk of complications who get flu. This season (2015-2016), three FDA-approved influenza antiviral drugs are recommended for use in the United States: oseltamivir, zanamivir and peramivir<br />
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<b>Will this season's vaccine be a good match for circulating viruses?</b><br />
<b>It's not possible to predict with certainty</b> if the vaccine will be a good match for circulating viruses. The vaccine is made to protect against the flu viruses that research indicates will likely be most common during the season. However, experts must pick which viruses to include in the vaccine many months in advance in order for vaccine to be produced and delivered on time. And flu viruses change constantly (called drift) – <u>they can change from one season to the next or they can even change within the course of one flu season. Because of these factors, there is always the possibility of a less than optimal match between circulating viruses and the viruses in the vaccine.</u> For this reason it is still possible to get the flu even after you have had a flu shot, because this also depends on how well the flu vaccine is matched to flu viruses that are causing illness.<br />
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Over the course of the flu season, CDC studies samples of circulating flu viruses to evaluate how close a match there is between viruses used to make the vaccine and circulating viruses.<br />
<b><br /> Can I get vaccinated and still get the flu?</b> <br />
<b><u><span style="font-size: small;"></span></u></b><u><span style="font-size: small;"></span></u><span style="font-size: small;"></span><span style="font-size: small;"><u><b>Yes.</b></u></span> It’s possible to get sick with the flu even if you have been vaccinated (although you won’t know for sure unless you get a flu test). This is possible for the following reasons:<br />
<b>•You may be </b>exposed to a flu virus shortly before getting vaccinated or during the period that it takes the body to gain protection after getting vaccinated. This exposure may result in you becoming ill with flu before the vaccine begins to protect you. (About 2 weeks after vaccination, antibodies that provide protection develop in the body.)<br />
<b>•You may be</b> exposed to a flu virus that is not included in the seasonal flu vaccine. There are many different flu viruses that circulate every year. The flu vaccine is made to protect against the three or four flu viruses that research suggests will be most common.<br />
<b>•Unfortunately, some people</b> can become infected with a flu virus the flu vaccine is designed to protect against, despite getting vaccinated. Protection provided by flu vaccination can vary widely, based in part on health and age factors of the person getting vaccinated. In general, the flu vaccine works best among healthy younger adults and older children. Some older people and people with certain chronic illnesses may develop less immunity after vaccination. <br />
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<u><b>Flu vaccination is not a perfect tool, but it is the best way to protect against flu infection.</b></u><br />
<u></u> <b><br /> If the flu vaccine is not matched to the flu viruses that are causing illness, you could still become deathly ill with the flu. It is so important to know this!</b><br />
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<b><br /> Is there treatment for the flu?</b> <br />
<u><span style="font-size: small;"></span><span style="font-size: small;"></span></u><span style="font-size: small;"></span><span style="font-size: small;"><u><b>Yes.</b></u></span> If you get sick, there are drugs that can treat flu illness. They are called antiviral drugs and they can make your illness milder and make you feel better faster. They also can prevent serious flu-related complications, like pneumonia. For more information about antiviral drugs, visit Treatment (Antiviral Drugs).<br />
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<b>If you get the flu, antiviral drugs can be used to treat your illness.</b> Antiviral drugs are different from antibiotics. They are prescription medicines (pills, liquid or an inhaled powder) and are not available over-the-counter. Antiviral drugs can make illness milder and shorten the time you are sick. They may also prevent serious flu complications.<br />
<b><br /> Studies show that flu antiviral drugs work best for treatment when they are started within 2 days of getting sick,<u> but starting them later can still be helpful, especially if the sick person is very sick from the flu. </u></b><br />
<b><u></u></b><b><br /><u></u></b> <b></b> <b>Symptoms of influenza can include </b>fever, cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue. Some people may also have vomiting and diarrhea. People may be infected with the flu and<u> have no symptoms at all or only respiratory <b>symptoms without a fever.</b></u><br />
<b><u><br /></u></b> <u></u><i></i> <i><b>*It</b></i><em><b>’</b></em><i><b>s important to note that not everyone with flu will have a fever.</b></i><br />
<i><br /></i> <i></i> <br />
<b>Our Kimberly went to a local clinic on December 13, 2014</b> and presented with flu like symptoms. She was told that it looked like she was on the down-side of the flu and a prescription for Ibuprofen was given to her, which she had filled. Four days later, we received the horrific news that our Kimberly Renee had died. If we can save a life with this post...Lord, may we!<br />
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Posted by Jane Coley ~ Heartbroken Mom ~ 15 September 2015<br />
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Jane’s Journey from Kenyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17036771446292244392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-13664998257257353602015-08-31T15:38:00.000-05:002015-08-31T15:38:21.890-05:00Embracing Grief<a href="http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/05/grief-knows-grief.html"><span style="color: #cc6611;">Embracing Grief</span></a> <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kimberly Renee Coley<br /> 7 Sept. 1986 ~ 17 Dec. 2014</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><strong>Just because my grief is deep, does not mean my faith is shallow. There is a strength in this grief. Only grief knows grief...and only grief is unafraid to embrace the depth of this sorrow.</strong></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: small;">It was January 2015 and my husband and I were in Oklahoma, as it was a Sunday evening, we dropped by a small church. The weather was bitterly cold and patches of snow were a reminder that winter was not yet finished with us. As we walked into the building, we were warmly greeted with handshakes and a smile, a good Baptist greeting, and then a question... "You’re the Coleys, aren’t you?" Another said, "I was in classes with your son at Heartland (Baptist Bible College)" while others began to tell us that they knew two of our daughters who had also graduated from HBBC. And then the expressions of condolences and sympathy began... "we are so sorry for your loss"... "I cannot imagine the loss of a child." </span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><strong>This kind church family had heard about our Kimberly’s passing</strong> and had quickly responded with a card and a love-offering to help with our many unexpected financial needs. The kind of needs a missionary family, with five adult children living miles apart from each other, would incur during an unimaginable trauma such as ours. We were introduced to the pastor and then the pastor introduced me to his wife. I had no memory of ever meeting this young woman before. She was wearing a pink dress and her long dark hair framed her beautiful face. I smiled and she accepted my extended hand in the familiar Baptist greeting, but, unexpectedly, this kind woman drew me close to her and wrapped her arms around me. Her warm embrace was consoling to my heart in a way that words could not. As she continued to embrace me, I began wondering how she knew our Kimberly. And then I realized, it wasn’t our Kimberly she knew...this pastor’s wife, and mother of eight knew my grief, and it was with her grief that she embraced me and cried with me. </span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Mrs. Michelle Bishop had lost her firstborn 19 year old son, Beau Bishop, almost a year ago in a one-car accident on February 10, 2014. <br /><br /><strong>Only grief knows grief...and only grief is unafraid to embrace the depth of this sorrow. Only grief is able to console grief with it’s silent embrace.</strong> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /><i>"Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort: Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."</i> ~ II Corinthians 1:3, 4 </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Written by Jane Coley ~ May 2015</span></div>
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Jane’s Journey from Kenyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17036771446292244392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-34693349678124928242015-08-31T15:33:00.001-05:002015-08-31T15:33:41.701-05:00Too Young to Die<a href="http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/06/too-young-to-die.html"><span style="color: #cc6611;">Too Young to Die</span></a> <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kimberly Renee Coley<br /> Sept. 7, 1986 ~ Dec. 17, 2014</td></tr>
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"I was too young to die, that’s what people say.</div>
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They can’t understand, why God took me away.</div>
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I guess that is something, they have yet to see.</div>
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But I have peace in knowing, it was His plan for me.</div>
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I was His creation. He gave me every breath.</div>
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And He knew all along, the timing of my death.</div>
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I know it took you by surprise. It caught us all off guard.</div>
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But I hope you will trust in God, though this will be hard.</div>
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Let Him bring you comfort. Rest in His embrace.</div>
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Call to Him when you’re hurting. Accept His endless grace.</div>
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Let Him bring you healing and all your needs supply.</div>
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Trust in His loving kindness, when your heart is asking "why?"</div>
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For as much as I loved you. He loves you even more.</div>
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His will is always best. His motives always pure.</div>
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I know right now you’re hurting, everything feels wrong.</div>
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But I am safe in Heaven, I’m right where I belong.</div>
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And though I hated to leave you, I know you’ll be o.k.</div>
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God will be with you, each moment of each day.</div>
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Someday we will meet again. God’s promises are true.</div>
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He has never let me down and He will not fail you."</div>
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(Both) Written by Nicole Madaus<br /><br /> The loss so sudden, the pain so deep,<br /> A part of me is incomplete.<br /> You were here, but now you’re gone,<br /> And I still have to carry on.<br /> How could this happen? How could it be?<span class="text_exposed_hide">...</span><span class="text_exposed_show"><br /> Why did God take you from me?<br /> It hurts so much I can’t explain,<br /> The depths of my grief and pain.<br /> It’s not supposed to be this way,<br /> To lose a child is not o.k.<br /> I’m angry and hurt. I’m full of grief.<br /> I can’t imagine finding relief.<br /> I feel so lost and so alone.<br /> Forced to suffer on my own.<br /> I don’t know what to say or do?<br /> How can I live without you? <br /><br /> I know it was sudden, the pain is deep,<br /> And right now you’re feeling incomplete.<br /> I was there and now I’m gone,<br /> But God can help you carry on.<br /> There aren’t easy answers for why God took me,<br /> But trust in faith what your eyes cannot see.<br /> I know it hurts and you can’t explain,<br /> The depths of your grief and pain.<br /> You lost a child and it’s not o.k.,<br /> But God can get you through each day.<br /> Give Him your anger, your hurt, your grief.<br /> In Him you’ll find peaceful relief.<br /> It won’t be easy, but you’re not alone.<br /> You don’t have to suffer on your own.<br /> Run to Him and stay close by His side,<br /> In His comfort and love you can safely abide.<br /> And though for now we must be apart,<br /> I’ll remain in the memories you keep in your heart.</span></div>
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Jane’s Journey from Kenyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17036771446292244392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-76395233797039152422015-08-31T15:30:00.000-05:002015-08-31T15:34:31.142-05:00The Most Unnatural Thing...<a href="http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/06/the-most-unnatural-thing.html"><span style="color: #cc6611;">The Most Unnatural Thing...</span></a> <br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><strong>It is the most unnatural thing...</strong>for a parent to stand before a gravestone and read the name of their child etched in the stone at their feet. The two dates representing the moments in time when your life changed forever. The date of beginnings, the date of endings... the date of joy, and the date of deep sorrow and grief. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><strong>Some days I don’t want to get out of bed.</strong> <br /> Many times I won’t even look at a calendar. Looking at the calendar only betrays my emotions because each day still feels like it was yesterday when we first received the news that our Kimberly had passed away.<br /><br /><strong>I cry every day...</strong> since the news of our daughter’s death. But I have found that the most therapeutic thing I do for myself, is to pray for someone else, and to be concerned with their heartaches. I do have to admit, I sometimes get annoyed with the seemingly petty things people request prayer for, but when I sense myself getting annoyed, I recognize I’m opening the door to allow bitterness to take root, and my Kimberly was too sweet, and too special for me to allow any bitterness to be attached to her memory.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">August 24, 2014 our last Sunday Lunch together.</td></tr>
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<strong> I am thankful for the grace of God that comforts my broken heart.</strong> If it were not for His wonderful grace, I would be consumed by my grief. <br /><br /> Daily I must choose... to not allow my grief to rob me of my joy.<br /><br /> Daily I must choose... to remember all that was tender, sweet, loving, precious, and unique about my daughter.<br /><br /> Daily I must choose... to not allow my beautiful memories to be marred by this temporal parting called death. <br /><br /><strong>I grieve for my daughter... But I have an eternal certainty beyond this earth that comforts my heart and my soul.<br /><i></i></strong> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i>"And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you."</i> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">~ John 16:22</span></div>
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<i>"Who by him do believe in God, that raised him up from the dead, and gave him glory; that your faith and hope might be in God."</i> </div>
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~ I Peter 1:21</div>
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"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints." </div>
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~ Psalm 116:15</div>
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<i>"We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord."</i> </div>
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~ II Corinthians 5:8</div>
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<i>"For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens."</i> </div>
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~ II Corinthians 5:1</div>
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<i>"Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:"</i> </div>
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~ John 11:25</div>
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<i>"And this is the promise that he hath promised us, even eternal life."</i> </div>
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~ I John 2:25</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aug. 27, 2014. At the AR airport headed back to Kenya.<br />
The last time I held her.</td></tr>
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Written by Jane Coley ~ August 2015</span><br /></div>
Jane’s Journey from Kenyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17036771446292244392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-33941950858075879652015-08-31T15:25:00.000-05:002016-02-25T21:01:37.708-06:00Growing In Grief<a href="http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/08/growing-in-grief.html"><span style="color: #cc6611;">Growing In Grief</span></a> <br />
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<strong>The day our daughter passed away...</strong> <br />
my breaking heart made this silent request,<i> </i><br />
<i>"Please... My Dear Lord God... please,</i><br />
<i>...bury me with my child! </i><br />
<i>It will be more merciful to be buried with her, </i><br />
<i>than trying to go through this life without her."</i> <br />
But a soft reply echoed back, <br />
<i>"I will be with you."</i><br />
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<strong>I began to think of the happiness my daughter would never know...</strong> falling in love, and all the whimsical delights that come with a true first love... her wedding day, and the excitement of watching her bounce down the aisle. I remember how Kimberly, with her arms flared at her sides, had bounced down the aisle of her ‘05 highschool graduation. When she later saw herself on video, she laughed and wondered if she would bounce at her wedding...but now, we will never know. We would then, eventually, have looked forward to her pregnancies and her babies... all Kimberly ever really wanted, from this earthly life, was to be a wife and a mother.<br />
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<strong>My heart ached for the happiness she would never know.</strong> <br />
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Then, before I could even ask the question...<br />
<i>"Why not,"</i> was His gentle reply.<br />
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<i><strong>"Why can she not be with Me?</strong> <br /> Though I know you love her, I have always loved her more. <br /> She is safe with Me. <br /> Nothing more will hurt her. <br /> All her anxieties are passed. <br /> She will never know another disappointment. <br /> All her struggles have ended. <br /> Her fears are all gone. <br /> She is My child, and she is forever safe with Me."</i> Oh, how His heart must ache as He sees us struggling through this earthly life. <br />
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<strong>My disappointment with the Lord ended</strong> as I conceded to the realization that this earthly life has limited moments of happiness sandwiched between endless disappointments, struggles and heartaches. <br />
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<strong>I cry every day,</strong> not because of what she missed but because my sorrow is in the missing of her. The rest of my earthly life is still a very long time to wait until I will hold her again. <br />
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<strong>I will always hurt...</strong> but I am not bitter. There will always be a sadness... but I am not angry. My tears will always come easily... but don’t expect me to restrain them... tears are often the consequence of loving memories. My sorrow is deep and I am forever changed...this is the reality of grief.<br />
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Descriptive Bible verses express my sorrow, and I know I have a Saviour who is touched by my grief. My comfort is through the Lord Jesus Christ, and my counsel is from the Word of God. <br />
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<strong>I am in awe...</strong> that He would know... with an awareness so profoundly expressed through these verses, just how deeply I grieve. <br />
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<i>"I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears. Mine eye is consumed because of grief..."</i> ~ Psalm 6:6, 7a</div>
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<i>"I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail while I wait for my God."</i> ~ Psalm 69:3</div>
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<i>"...my groaning is not hid from thee. My heart panteth, my strength faileth me: as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me."</i> ~ Psalm 38:9b, 10</div>
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<i>"...I have great heaviness and continual sorrow in my heart."</i> ~ Romans 9:2</div>
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<i>"How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily?"</i> ~ Psalm 13:2a</div>
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<i>"My heart is smitten, and withered like grass; so that I forget to eat my bread."</i> ~ Psalm 102:4</div>
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<i>"By reason of the voice of my groaning my bones cleave to my skin."</i> ~ Psalm 102:5</div>
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<i>"Mine eye trickleth down, and ceaseth not, without any intermission,"</i> ~ Lamentations 3:49</div>
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<i>"...lifted up their voice and wept, until they had no more power to weep."</i> ~ 1 Samuel 30:4b<br />
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<em>"...my sorrows are turned upon me, and I have retained no strength." "...there remained no strength in me, neither is there breath left in me."</em> ~ Daniel 11:16b & 17b</div>
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<strong>There is a great misconception about God in relation to how He cares for his children.</strong> Many think that being a child of God means He is to keep us from the troubles and distresses of this earthly life. But, this is not so...God is not in the ‘keeping us from’ ...He is in the ‘carrying us through’ of life’s heartaches.<br />
<br />
<strong>"God will not put more on us than we are able to bear." <u>is not</u> a biblical teaching.</strong> It is a mis-teaching, taken out of context, from<i> </i>I Corinthians 10:13.<br />
<br />
<strong>Yes, God does put more on us than we are able to bear...but... He does not put on us more than He is able to bear,</strong> as my friend, Pastor Jeff Russell, reminded me. God said to the Apostle Paul, <i>"...My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness."</i> ~ II Corinthians 12:9<br />
<br />
<strong>My Lord knows...</strong> my Lord understands... He cares, and He is touched by our sorrows.<br />
<br />
<strong>He is the burden lifter...</strong> <i>"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." </i>~ I Peter 5:7<br />
<br />
<strong>He is a present help...</strong> <i>"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.</i>" ~ Psalm 46:1<br />
<br />
<strong>He is</strong> <i>"...a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief... ...he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows..." </i>~ Isaiah 53:3 & 4<br />
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<strong>Christ understands the depth of all sorrows...</strong>and it has always been His burden to carry us through... <i>"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, ...thou art with me..." ~ </i>Psalms 23:4 <br />
<i></i><br />
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<i>"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." </i>~ Isaiah 41:10</div>
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<i>"When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee."</i> ~ Isaiah 43:2</div>
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If I had not already known Him as Saviour, and the assurance of Heaven, then I would not now know the grace of His comfort and the mercy of His peace. It is through this tragedy, of our daughter’s death, that my loving Lord has been so dearly close.<br />
<br />
I do not ask the Lord to mend my broken heart because I am asking that He preserve my memories and to grant me access to things I had forgotten... my tears are the evidence of this answered prayer.<br />
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<strong>My relationship with God is of my choosing...</strong><br />
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Daily I must choose... to draw nearer to God. <i>"Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.</i>" ~ James 4:8 <br />
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Daily I must choose... to not allow my grief to rob me of joy. <i>"...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." </i>~ Psalm 30:5<br />
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Daily I must choose... to remember He is my refuge; my place of security. <i>"Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us." </i>~ Psalm 62:8<br />
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<strong>If I do not daily choose these...</strong> then, by my neglect, the darkness will come and the sorrow will overwhelm me until my heart is devoured by grief and there is nothing left but the hollowness of bitterness and disdain where once there was a heart.<br />
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God is not in the business of making super Christians, but He is in the business of taking surrendered Christians and doing something amazing through their surrendered lives.<br />
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<strong>"My dear Lord God...</strong>I surrender to You my broken heart...I do not ask that You mend it... I only ask that You use it." <br />
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<i>"Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."</i> ~ II Corinthians 1:4 <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE7JwUe4Fz-uEyIWPfA7dIjHSMhWXWC_nt9gJbM5uu6-Xpnls2dKR3c6qkytcSIS8xtUYcBqizS7qRuGJi54eCiq1DnDqGL250OW3Zvj1pl0vrqOI69YLCXVN5Hn6-8yeVBNdA-nJm3RU/s1600/10432546_817887434941690_6952953295200315415_n+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE7JwUe4Fz-uEyIWPfA7dIjHSMhWXWC_nt9gJbM5uu6-Xpnls2dKR3c6qkytcSIS8xtUYcBqizS7qRuGJi54eCiq1DnDqGL250OW3Zvj1pl0vrqOI69YLCXVN5Hn6-8yeVBNdA-nJm3RU/s320/10432546_817887434941690_6952953295200315415_n+%25281%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kimberly loving on her first nephew, Kayin. '09</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
Written by Kimberly’s Mom ~ August 2015 </div>
Jane’s Journey from Kenyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17036771446292244392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-62427906452331999132014-12-26T00:40:00.001-06:002014-12-26T00:40:02.561-06:00ADW You Tube Channel AD<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/V98BhejSDVY" width="459"></iframe>Bible Sendershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01257881293624319827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-19306996818431665572014-11-22T17:59:00.001-06:002014-11-22T17:59:57.897-06:00The Procedure (Powerful Pro life film)<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XW5lqp8crI8" width="480"></iframe>Bible Sendershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01257881293624319827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-68395727424528166732014-10-30T13:19:00.001-05:002014-10-30T13:19:29.745-05:00Tract Spotlight “In 100 Years”<a href="http://afterdeathwhat.com/tract-spotlight-in-100-years/">Tract Spotlight “In 100 Years”</a>Bible Sendershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01257881293624319827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-82486678835640413532014-10-29T22:16:00.001-05:002014-10-29T22:16:43.155-05:00Psalm 103<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/WvpR3wI4YVQ" width="459"></iframe>Bible Sendershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01257881293624319827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-37087873863152233282014-10-29T22:15:00.001-05:002014-10-29T22:15:07.862-05:00Death It Happens Everyday<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/w9r-uA-GAvc" width="459"></iframe>Bible Sendershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01257881293624319827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-49978428559622748682014-10-29T22:13:00.001-05:002014-10-29T22:13:55.408-05:00100 Years From Now<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/xoRaoc3c3-w" width="459"></iframe>Bible Sendershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01257881293624319827noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-52836916361675064412014-10-28T07:53:00.000-05:002014-10-28T07:53:13.378-05:00The Proving Ground<i><div style="text-align: center;">
"He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed trusting in the Lord."</div>
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Psalm 112:7</div>
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"My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed: I will sing and give praise."</div>
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Psalm 57:7</div>
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<i>"Evil tidings"</i>... When bad news, or difficult situations come your way, what is your reaction? Recently, I found myself reacting to bad news, and a difficult situation, opposite from the admonition of these verses. Instead of trusting in the Lord, I questioned Him. Instead of my fixed-heart singing and praising, I cried and complained. As I wondered why I had pouted my way through another struggle, my thoughts went to a playground full of children... .<br />
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In our early ministry life, my husband was an assistant pastor, and we both taught in our Christian school. At this particular time, our school had about 350 students, and this was the year that my daughter was in my Second grade class, along with 26 other students. Though everyone knew she was my daughter, we liked being <i>teacher </i>and <i>student </i>while we were at school, and so my daughter would call me "Teacher" instead of "Mom" while I was on duty.<br />
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Our Christian school had a great playground that was designed and built by our pastor, so there was nothing like it anywhere else. We had a huge climbing tower, restricted for the big kids in the Third through Sixth grades (8 to 12 year olds) , and a smaller Jungle Jim for the younger children in Kindergarten through Second grades (4 to 7 years olds). There was also an in-between piece of playground equipment that we teachers soon realized was being used as some sort of "proving ground" by the Second grade students. This piece of equipment was the Monkey Bars. Students would climb the three ladder rungs up and then stretch to reach the first bar, which was about seven feet from the ground. After they had firmly gripped the first bar, they would then start to swing their bodies back and forth until they had enough momentum to swing their arm forward and grab onto the next bar. They would continue, grabbing bar after bar until they had reached the other end, which was about twelve feet away. The students who had accomplished this feat, 7 feet up and 12 feet long, were no longer considered to be little kids of the playground, and no one would call them "baby" any more. They had proved their strength and determination to their peers, and their accomplishment was celebrated by all who watched.<br />
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One day, while most of the students were playing in the field, I noticed my daughter climbing the first three rungs of the Monkey Bars. This was not her first attempt; she had often climbed up only to become fearful and climb back down. But this time, as another teacher and I looked on, she stretched herself forward and caught the first bar... and then the next... and the next, until she was a third of the way through this "proving ground feat". Then she stopped, and began crying out to me. I could hear the fear in her voice as she cried, "Mommy, help me now!".<br />
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I came near to her, but I didn’t touch her. I knew she had just overcome her greatest fear by making it this far onto the bars. I had helped many others students through this "proving ground" test, and I knew she had the strength to finish: I just had to convince her. I told her I wouldn’t let her get hurt and that I was close enough to catch her if she slipped. I even told her to let go and I would catch her, but she wanted me to wrap my arms around her and lift her to safety. She continued kicking and crying, begging me to help her. I told her the strength she was using to pitch-a-fit on the bar was enough to get her across and she needed to use that strength to reach for the next bar. <br />
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She finally made it to the other side of the Monkey Bars. The other teacher and I were telling her how well she had done, that she was so brave to keep on going and that we were happy for her accomplishment! But my daughter wasn’t happy. All she said to me was, "Mommy, you were supposed to help me." I could hear the disappointment in her voice, and she walked away frustrated with me. She wasn’t relieved that she had made it safely to the other side. All she focused on was how I hadn’t helped her like she expected me to, and how I hadn’t kept her from being so afraid.<br />
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I’m ashamed to admit it, but even as an adult, I sometimes behave just like my daughter. When things on this proving ground of life get tough to deal with, I want my Heavenly Father to wrap His arms around me and lift me to safety. I don’t want to have to continue in the struggle... I don’t want to be afraid. I want help now! Just as my daughter’s playground expectations were disappointed by me, I had to admit that my proving ground experience was similar, and I found myself frustrated with the Lord. <br />
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Then I realized, once again, that I had pitched-a-fit when I should have been trusting the Lord. I had wanted help <i><u>out</u></i> of the struggle instead of help <i><u>through</u> </i>the struggle. I wish there was an easier way to learn the lesson expressed in this Psalm, but the lesson of how to fix our heart on the Lord, through difficult situations, can only come while experiencing the difficult situation.<br />
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It was another day, and my daughter, surrounded by her peers, climbed the Monkey Bars again. While the children watched, she reached for the first bar. With confidence, she reached for the next bar... and then the next, until she had reached the other side, seven feet up and twelve feet long. Her peers celebrated her accomplishment... and she smiled. <br />
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Too often it is forgotten that spiritual strength is built through the struggle. Too often it is forgotten that "the proving ground" of faith is never a comfortable place. But often enough, when the struggle is over, we smile with contentment and a refreshed spirit knowing the Lord was with us all the way through. <br />
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<i>"Yea, though I walk through... thou art with me...". </i> Psalms 23:4Jane’s Journey from Kenyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17036771446292244392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-38392626688550888032014-04-04T14:57:00.001-05:002014-04-04T14:57:10.343-05:00Sharing Scripture Tags<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />GraceFromHimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04002658313843275194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-8324246986071186832014-02-08T13:09:00.000-06:002014-02-08T13:09:34.124-06:00Report for Homiletics (preaching) Class<br />
<i>This is an excerpt from my book, "Just Me: Humorous, Helpful & Odd." It is a fictional piece about preaching for the first time. </i><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "Book Antiqua";">Report for My Homiletics Class<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "Book Antiqua";">A record of my assignment to preach
for my church back home over Thanksgiving break<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Book Antiqua";">Ever since my pastor had asked me to fill
the pulpit because he was going to be out of town over Thanksgiving, The
upcoming message insisted on my attention and dominated my prayer life up to
this point. I had to fulfill the assignment for homiletics class to preach for
a church over the holiday break. What do I preach to people who know me,
especially my family? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Book Antiqua";">Doomsday eventually arrived. I had prepared
my message, proofed it and polished it. Yet, I couldn’t convince myself that I
was ready. During the song service the
butterflies fluttered ruthlessly throughout my entire abdomen, not just my
stomach. My sweat glands functioned over
abundantly by saturating my clothing. No matter how hot I felt, I knew I could
not remove my jacket during the message without revealing wet armpits. Each
congregational song, each announcement, each “special” sung by the choir and
individuals, just marked time toward the inevitable, the indescribable, the
excruciating moment when I would have to open my mouth and utter something
beneficial for these people – this assembly who would be expecting something
fantastic from a college student - and some might even take notes!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Book Antiqua";">The assistant pastor introduced me - my time
had come. My nerves had been snapping
one by one. When he mentioned my name, a flurry of nerve destruction occurred,
leaving only one nerve between a nervous breakdown and me. As he talked, the words became indiscernible
vocalizations like the sounds Charlie Brown’s teacher made in the television
shows. All too quickly, he finished and invited me to the pulpit to preach. I
wondered if my ability to walk would fail and I would fall on my face as I
stepped up onto the platform. Had anyone ever actually died of embarrassment? No,
probably not, embarrassment just maimed, mutilated and marred their mind until
they melted into a mound of mush. As I made my way to the podium, I pictured
myself living in a padded room hidden from society, never to be heard from
again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Book Antiqua";">Suddenly, I found myself behind on the
platform. I placed my Bible on the pulpit and opened it, knowing that I would
have to look up at those faces – all those faces expecting profundity. I tried
to think of a joke to set the audience at ease, but I couldn’t remember where I
put my memory. I took out my notes. The
paper amplified my shaking hands by making a loud rattling sound. I forced
myself to look up at the people. I tried
to talk, but nothing happened. I had
never realized how loud silence could be! I want to say that I spit out
something, but I didn’t have enough saliva to do so. I learned why preachers want a glass of water
when they preach.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Book Antiqua";">I turned my gaze to my notes and stared at
them. Have you ever experienced the
uneasy feeling that someone is watching you?
Amplify that by one hundred. One
hundred? That equals two hundred eyes;
no wonder uneasiness prevailed! I told myself to stop thinking and start
reading. As I struggled to find the
first page, I realized that putting page numbers on my message would have been
a good idea. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Book Antiqua";">Once I started and discovered that the
audience was interested and attentive, my uneasiness - persisted. I picked out one person to preach to, but she
fell asleep. That irritated me. I
preached louder and she woke up. At that
point, I realized that I was preaching!
The liveliest, most animated preacher was bounding about - on the
inside, while on the outside I sounded as excited as my eighth grade accounting
teacher (I know because I listened to the CD afterward). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Book Antiqua";">Somehow I reached the end of my
message. Did I preach too fast due to
nerves? Did I actually preach the entire thing?
Did I go overtime? I knew I had bombed.
I wanted to sneak out the side door without talking to anybody, but I
still needed to conduct the invitation (a common procedure in Baptist services).
This meant applying the point of the message to the individual and inviting
them to the front altar to spend time with God in prayer. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Book Antiqua";">How do I give an invitation? I hadn’t written out my invitation. I figured
that would be a no-brainer, but I couldn’t remember what to say. Good night, how
many times have I heard Pastor and preachers at my college give an invitation? The flutterbies returned. I stuttered and stammered something and let
the vocalist sing. I wanted to cry. I wanted to hide. I wanted to die - until I
looked up. People had come to the altar! How did that happen? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Kevin Boekhoffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14303105069866134023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-54510768265604796622014-01-30T14:19:00.002-06:002014-01-30T14:20:46.939-06:00New Website NoticeThe old ifbkjv.com was purchased by someone who is pointing it to a site with Catholic links. I did attempt to get it back, but they want 2000 dollars. Insane. So, I am instead changing the URL and name from IFBKJV to <a href="http://www.kjvifb.com">www.KJVIFB.com</a>. Please change your codes or buttons to point to this url. It will work correctly with that change, and I apologize for the extra work.JTRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13377580474241286817noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-90860300852201822252014-01-30T12:35:00.002-06:002014-01-30T12:35:33.091-06:00OPEN AGAIN!This blog has been on hiatus for a while when the domain expired. The new domain is KJVIFB.com. Thank you for your patience! There are many things that lead to the break: I was working more as a church secretary, I did not have the cash to renew the domain (this costs money to run, but I pay it myself), I wasn't homeschooling (I am now, again)...but we are up and running again. I'm happy to have it working. I like parking things here to read, and I encourage all of our bloggers to freely post here as well. If you are an independent, fundamental Baptist and you wish to either join the blog roll, or become a contributing author here (you can repost your entries), please email me at KJVRoberts@gmail.com. Thanks and God bless! JTRJTRhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13377580474241286817noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-72165030564195382013-11-08T23:05:00.003-06:002013-11-08T23:10:39.755-06:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>A Different Kind of Thanksgiving List </b><br />
<b>~ by Jane Coley</b><br />
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I’m thankful to know affliction... for without it, my spirit would not strive for more.</div>
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<i>~ "It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes." </i><br />
<b>Psalm 119:71</b></div>
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I’m thankful to know sorrow... for without it, my heart would not know the depth of joy.</div>
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<i>~ "They that sow in tears shall reap in joy." </i><br />
<b>Psalm 126:5</b></div>
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I’m thankful to know the disappointments of friendships... for without it, I would miss the value of a true friend.</div>
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<i>~ "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." </i><br />
<b>Proverbs 27:17</b></div>
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I’m thankful to know financial struggles... for without it, I would waste so much.</div>
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<i>~ "Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me: Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is the Lord? Or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain." </i><b></b><br />
<b>Proverbs 30:8, 9</b></div>
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I’m thankful to know physical pain... for without it, my attention would not be drawn to the suffering of others.</div>
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<i>~ "Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God." </i><br />
<b>II Corinthians 1:4</b></div>
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I’m thankful to know conviction... for without it, I would not know redemption.</div>
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<i>~ "In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace" </i><br />
<i> </i><b>Ephesians 1:7</b></div>
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I’m thankful to know these things... </div>
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I’m thankful these things "visit" me... </div>
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I’m thankful they don’t stay long.</div>
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Jane’s Journey from Kenyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17036771446292244392noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3458704418802617760.post-20986291542115495962013-11-05T13:49:00.001-06:002013-11-05T13:54:42.164-06:00Points to Ponder ~ Sarah<b>Sarah</b>... was first known as Sarai before God changed her name. This name change for Sarah and Abraham (Abram) commemorated the covenant God had made with them, and initiated the beginning of the Jewish Nation; the Nation of Israel. Sarah and Abraham were the first Jews. (Genesis 17:1-11, 15, 16)<br />
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<b>Another <i>point to ponder...</i></b> Not only were Sarah and Abraham husband and wife, but they were also half brother and sister, having the same father. In today’s society this is a repulsive idea but ancient times recorded this as a normal occurrence. My husband and I were married in 1978 in a state that required both a blood test and a 3-day waiting period. When I asked the reason for the blood test, the answer we were given was... to provided evidence that we were not blood relatives. So it seems that even the recent history of our state still indicated a need for that sort of clarification, before a couple would be granted a marriage licence.<br />
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Sarah and Abraham’s relationship stands out as a remarkable testimony. There are no other Bible characters more in love, and trusting of each other, than Sarah and Abraham. Though there were reasons for them to play the "blame game", Sarah and Abraham never did. Their commitment to each other was the foundation of their successful spiritual growth. Their spiritual journey presented challenges for them as much as their wilderness wanderings did. <br />
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<b></b><b>Hebrews 11:8-11</b> <i>"By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went. By faith he sojourned in the land of promise, as in a strange country, dwelling in tabernacles with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise: For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God. Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised." </i> <br />
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<b>A <i>point to ponder</i></b>... When they journeyed into strange lands, some take issue with Abraham and consider him a coward for having Sarah say she was his sister. However, it was typical for beautiful women to be "collected" and kept as potential wives by their captors. Esther, for example, was "collected" and went through a purification process that lasted 12 months. (Esther 2:2-9, 12) <br />
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<b></b><b>Genesis 12:10-13</b><i> "And there was a famine in the land: and Abram went down into Egypt to sojourn there; for the famine was grievous in the land. And it came to pass, when he was come near to enter Egypt, that he said unto Sarai is wife, Behold now, I know that thou art a fair woman to look upon: Therefore it shall come to pass, when the Egyptians shall see thee, that they shall say, This is his wife: and they will kill me, but they will save thee alive. Say, I pray thee, thou art my sister: that it may be well with me for thy sake; and my soul shall live because of thee."</i><br />
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</i><b></b><b>Genesis 20:12, 13</b> <i>"And yet indeed she is my sister; she is the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother; and she became my wife. And it came to pass, when God caused me to wander from my father’s house, that I said unto her, This is thy kindness which thou shalt shew unto me; at every place whither we shall come, say of me, He is my brother."</i></dir><i>
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For her beauty, kings would kill a husband... but they would give gifts to her brother. When Abraham and Sarah agreed together to say, <i>"she is my sister" </i>this half-truth was a strategic plan of wisdom more then it was a cowardly evasion. <br />
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This plan allowed the process of time for these "captors of beautiful women" to understand the might of Abraham’s God. Abraham sojourned by God’s command, and it was therefore God’s protection that went before them. The Lord plagued Pharaoh and his house with great plagues, and again, twenty years later, Abimelech was also witness to the mighty strength of Abraham’s God. (Genesis 12:17; 20:1-7) Never, at any time, did God reprimand Abraham for this.<br />
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<b></b><b>Genesis 12:3</b> <i>"And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed."</i> <br />
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<b>Sarah’s Barrenness, A Spiritual Challenge. ~ </b>Even in today’s society, couples struggling with infertility problems face many private heartaches and heartbreaks that many of us, unless infertile ourselves, cannot even fathom. Then, there are the painful remarks made by well-meaning onlookers who neglect to consider that their greatest kindness would be to remain silent on this private topic. Many couples struggling with infertility choose to "weather this storm of life" and face their barrenness together. But, in Sarah’s time, getting a baby was as easy as telling your husband to take another wife, which Sarah did... and which lead to their greatest spiritual challenge.<br />
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It was Sarah who made the suggestion for Abraham to take Hagar, her handmaid, and it was Abraham who agreed. Forgoing God and making this impetuous wrong decision together meant they would also face the consequences together. <br />
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<b>Their Remarkable Relationship. ~</b> This couple was supportive of each other and they didn’t waste their time with accusations against one another, even when they made wrong decisions. They chose to "weather the storms of life" and they were "together" in every aspect of the word. You don’t see a domineering overbearing husband, and you don’t see a subdued cowering wife. You see a husband and wife balanced in their relationship with equal submission to one another, very like-minded in their thoughts and actions, not condemning, not blaming... "together". <br />
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<b></b><b>I Peter 3: 5-7</b> <i>"For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."</i><br />
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When they had disagreements, they talked with each other. And, when it seemed they could not come to terms, they took it to the Lord.<br />
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<b>Genesis 16:5</b> <i>"And Sarai said unto Abram,... ...the Lord judge between me and thee."</i><br />
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</i><b></b><b>Genesis 21:9-14 (vs. 12)</b> <i>"And God said unto Abraham, Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman; in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice; for in Isaac shall thy seed be called."</i><br />
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<b>The Balance. ~</b> Sarah and Abraham exemplified the balance of male leadership with female submission. This was never to be a grievous thing. God’s plan for leadership is that it is to be male. Leadership is responsible for those they lead, and leadership is always accountable to God for the outcome... good, bad, or ugly, male leadership answers for it all. He is not "the boss" as much as he is "the responsible party" and all accountability rests on his shoulders. This is what Sarah was acknowledging when she says, <i>"<b><u>My wrong be upon thee</u></b>..."</i> in Genesis 16:5.<br />
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<b></b><b>Numbers 30:14-16</b> <i>"But if her husband altogether hold his peace at her from day to day; then he establisheth all her vows, or all her bonds, which are upon her: he confirmeth them, because he held his peace at her in the day that he heard them. But if he shall any ways make them void after that he hath heard them; then <b><u>he shall bear her iniquity</u></b>. These are the statues, which the Lord commanded Moses, between a man and his wife, between the father and his daughter, being yet in her youth in her father’s house."</i></dir><i>
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The imbalance of this teaching has made it a grievous topic for women because they see themselves as having to submit to the wants and wishes of male domination without consideration; it’s his way or it’s not submission, is the lesson women get. The balance of God’s plan is not grievous.<br />
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<b>The balance of female submission is male leadership</b>. The truth of Ephesians 5:21-33 is that if more husbands were the right kind of leader, as the example of Christ with the church, wives would be more inclined to submit. Husbands having trouble with their wives might want to examine how they are leading, instead of focusing on how she’s not submitting.<br />
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<b></b><b>Ephesians 5:25-27</b> <i>"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish."</i><br />
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When God’s plan of submission and leadership, for a husband and wife, becomes grievous... it is because there are secrets between the couple. Secrets cause mistrust, and mistrust is the key element that erodes the balance in God’s plan. Submission is easy, when you can trust the one you are submitting to. <br />
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When leadership becomes manipulative, it is no longer leadership, it has become a dictatorship. Leadership, to be successful, must lead with loving trust. This is the relationship Sarah and Abraham exemplified. They always lovingly trusted each other and weathered the storms of life together.<br />
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(Additional Bible References for Sarah: Genesis 11:27 through to 13:4; chapters 15:1 through to 17:22; chapter 18:1-15; chapters 20:1 through to 21:1-13; chapters 23; 24:36-38, 64-67; 25:7-12; and 49:31; Isaiah 51:2; Romans 4:18-22; and 9:6-9; Hebrews 11:8-19; I Peter 3:1-6)Jane’s Journey from Kenyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17036771446292244392noreply@blogger.com0