Four Types of “Fruity” Christians

Are you sometimes a banana-skinned Christian, easily bruised, allowing the things others say and do to easily offend you? Or maybe you’re sometimes like another type of fruit...
I’ve learned that when I start to let my emotions get the best of me, it’s evidence of my lack of how near I have drawn myself to God.“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you...” James 4:8

1.) Thin skinned / soft fruit - such as - Grapes, Kiwi, Peaches, Plums.

These fruits are usually expensive because they take so much special care. They can be damaged so easily. Their skin is thin and it doesn’t protect the soft fruit from damage, it's only enough to keep the fruit from getting dirty.

*These Christians are high-maintenance people and they are offended often and easily. You have to watch what you say around them because they are so sensitive, it's like walking on egg shells. They are the type of Christian who struggles with being faithful to church because they are somewhere else nursing another emotional injury waiting for someone to “pet” on them.


2.) Thin skinned / hard fruit - such as - Apples.

The appearance of this fruit can be deceiving because this fruit often rots from the inside out. It also bruises easily.

*This Christian has become emotionally hard in order to protect themselves. But all the while, they are rotting away on the inside from all the bitterness they are harboring. They are not joyful Christians, their pleasure is in the calamities of others.


3.) Thick skinned / soft fruit - such as - Bananas, Oranges, Grapefruits.

The skin of these fruits seem to be able to hold up to normal bumping around, but it’s not until you open them up that you find the fruit inside has been bruised.

*These Christians are easily crossed or offended but will usually keep quiet until they find their moment to lash out, and, like their fruit counterpart, they can be very acidic with others - hurting others because they have been hurt. They also like to gossip.


4.) Tough skinned / soft fruit - such as - Passion Fruit.

The skin of this fruit is almost like a shell protecting the delicate fruit inside. This fruit does not have to be handled cautiously, it can take some stress while the inside fruit is still soft, almost liquidity, and delicious.

*This is the type of Christian we need to be. Strong enough on the outside to take the offenses of this world, while still tender enough on the inside to have compassion for others.

A reflection of our quiet-time with God is revealed through how we deal with offences.
“Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.” Psalms 119:165.
“My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments: For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.” - Proverbs 3:1, 2.

By Jane M. Coley

Ten Simple Rules For Dating My Daughter

Click here to see my book's promo page


Someone sent this to me awhile ago, and I thought it was pretty good.

It’s a good start.

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TEN SIMPLE RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER

Rule One:

If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:

You do not touch my daughter. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age to wear their trousers so loose that they appear to be falling off. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during your date with my daughter, I will use my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely to your waist.

Rule Four:

I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Looking for Fat People

Scripture: Mt. 6:33, Rm. 12:1-2, Prov. 9:9, Prov. 3:6, Ps. 90:12

1. Fat in Faithfulness

* Bible Reading

* Prayer

* Church Attendance

2. Fat in Availability

* For Service

* For Sacrifice

* For Submissiveness

3. Fat in Teachability

* To Learn God’s Ways

* To Learn to Love Others

* To Learn to Use Time Wisely

Management Consultants?

August 1, 2009

Good morning,

If Men Had Chosen the Apostles

TO: Jesus, Son of Joseph Woodcrafters Carpenter Shop Nazareth 25922 FROM: Jordan Management Consultants Jerusalem 26544 Dear Sir: Thank you for submitting the résumés of the twelve men you have picked for management positions in your new organization. All of them have not taken our battery of tests; and we have not only run the results through our computer, but also arranged personal interviews for each of them with our psychologist and vocational aptitude consultant. The profiles of all tests are included, and you will want to study each of them carefully. As part of our service and for your guidance, we make some general comments, much as an auditor will include some general statements. This is given as a result of staff consultation and comes without any additional fee. It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking in background, education and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking. They do not have team concept. We recommend that you continue your search for persons of experience in managerial ability and proven capability. Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper. Andrew has absolutely no qualities of leadership. The two brothers, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, place personal interest above company loyalty. Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that would tend to undermine morale. We feel that it is our duty to tell you that Matthew has been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau. James, the son of Alpheaus, and Thaddaeus definitely have radical leanings, and they both registered a high score on the manic-depressive scale. One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of ability and resourcefulness, meets people well, has a keen business mind and has contacts in high places. He is highly motivated, ambitious and responsible. We recommend Judas Iscariot as your comptroller and right-hand man. All the other profiles are self-explanatory. We wish you every success in your new venture. Sincerely Yours, Jordan Management Committee

“For the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7).

Lord bless you in this new month.

Bro. Harry Shomaker

Die to Sin Cartoon

Well, I haven’t actually died to sin, but I did feel kind of faint once![1]





[1]Bunch, Cindy: Small Group Idea Book : Resources to Enrich Community, Worship, Prayer, Nurture, Outreach. Downers Grove, Ill. : InterVarsity Press, 1996