what did you say?

My husband sent me a link the other day for an article entitled 'Christian Cussing?' 

This topic is actually something that had been on my heart and mind for a couple of months now, as I listen to my children mimic my speech. As crazy as it may seem [today], I want my children to be well-spoken, use proper grammar and even know what the words they use mean. With that being said, it is difficult for my children NOT to be exposed to illiterate speech. We live in an illiterate society. [I am in no way saying that every single person we come into contact with is illiterate. This is a generalization made from simply listening to people around me and is not meant to offend, just make aware. Words are important.] 

{Even more importantly} I also do not want my children uttering profanity. BUT, what is profanity? What is unacceptable speech? Is it just the 'major' cursings [the Lord's name in any way other than speaking to or about Him, the 4-letter words, etc. I am not going to spell them out]? Or are slang [replaced] words wrong, too? 

in EVERTHING

give thanks.

Giving thanks. This is a conscious effort that I am praying to make a way of life. He cannot take my thanks from me. I must give it to Him. 

If I am trusting God, why would I not give thanks to Him? He has given me so many promises. And I am beyond unworthy. 

this Life. 

my own. my husband's. children. friends. family.

give thanks.

eternal Life.

salvation. through Jesus only. There is nothing I could ever hope to try to do to gain Heaven. or His favor. ever.

Four Types of “Fruity” Christians

Are you sometimes a banana-skinned Christian, easily bruised, allowing the things others say and do to easily offend you? Or maybe you’re sometimes like another type of fruit...
I’ve learned that when I start to let my emotions get the best of me, it’s evidence of my lack of how near I have drawn myself to God.“Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you...” James 4:8

1.) Thin skinned / soft fruit - such as - Grapes, Kiwi, Peaches, Plums.

These fruits are usually expensive because they take so much special care. They can be damaged so easily. Their skin is thin and it doesn’t protect the soft fruit from damage, it's only enough to keep the fruit from getting dirty.

*These Christians are high-maintenance people and they are offended often and easily. You have to watch what you say around them because they are so sensitive, it's like walking on egg shells. They are the type of Christian who struggles with being faithful to church because they are somewhere else nursing another emotional injury waiting for someone to “pet” on them.


2.) Thin skinned / hard fruit - such as - Apples.

The appearance of this fruit can be deceiving because this fruit often rots from the inside out. It also bruises easily.

*This Christian has become emotionally hard in order to protect themselves. But all the while, they are rotting away on the inside from all the bitterness they are harboring. They are not joyful Christians, their pleasure is in the calamities of others.


3.) Thick skinned / soft fruit - such as - Bananas, Oranges, Grapefruits.

The skin of these fruits seem to be able to hold up to normal bumping around, but it’s not until you open them up that you find the fruit inside has been bruised.

*These Christians are easily crossed or offended but will usually keep quiet until they find their moment to lash out, and, like their fruit counterpart, they can be very acidic with others - hurting others because they have been hurt. They also like to gossip.


4.) Tough skinned / soft fruit - such as - Passion Fruit.

The skin of this fruit is almost like a shell protecting the delicate fruit inside. This fruit does not have to be handled cautiously, it can take some stress while the inside fruit is still soft, almost liquidity, and delicious.

*This is the type of Christian we need to be. Strong enough on the outside to take the offenses of this world, while still tender enough on the inside to have compassion for others.

A reflection of our quiet-time with God is revealed through how we deal with offences.
“Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.” Psalms 119:165.
“My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments: For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.” - Proverbs 3:1, 2.

By Jane M. Coley

Safe in a Shipwreck

Stay in the Center of God’s Will

One of the most exciting stories in the Bible is in Acts 27. Take a moment to read this amazing story—a story of faith.

We find the Apostle a prisoner of Rome, dispatched to Caesar to appeal his case, as was his right as a Roman citizen. The journey to Rome was most quickly accomplished by ship, usually. A voyage of a few weeks turns into a six-month ordeal.

Even though a prisoner, Paul had access to Julius, the Centurion charged with his delivery to Rome. In verses nine through eleven we read, “Now when much time was spent, and when sailing was now dangerous, because the fast was now already past, Paul admonished them, and said unto them, Sirs, I perceive that this voyage will be with hurt and much damage, not only of the lading and ship, but also of our lives. Nevertheless the centurion believed the master and the owner of the ship, more than those things which were spoken by Paul.”

Put yourself in the place of the Centurion. On the one hand, you are getting counsel from the ship’s master and owner. On the other hand, the counsel is coming from a prisoner, someone whose incentive might be to delay the journey and therefore delay his judgment for crimes allegedly committed. To whom would you listen?

Paul could be perceived as an annoying guy. When things go poorly, we hear him saying in verse 21, “Sirs, ye should have hearkened unto me, and not have loosed from Crete, and to have gained this harm and loss.” I’m quite sure that the sailors were tempted to reenact the story of Jonah by casting Paul into the deep, not caring if a great fish was present or not!

As exciting as this story of danger at sea is to read, that is really just a backdrop for what really thrills my heart. Reading from verse 22, “And now I exhort you to be of good cheer: for there shall be no loss of any man’s life among you, but of the ship. For there stood by me this night the angel of God, whose I am, and whom I serve, Saying, Fear not, Paul; thou must be brought before Caesar: and, lo, God hath given thee all them that sail with thee.”

God had ordained for Paul an audience before Caesar, fully confident that Paul would deliver to this ruler of the world the message of God’s supreme authority and an opportunity for salvation. Nothing could stay the movement of God’s hand. As we go through life’s journey in the center of God’s will, we can know that no matter how rough our seas get, God will see that we get to our appointed destination to do the work He before ordained (Ephesians 2:10).

There is no place any safer than the center of God’s will. If that is where you are, then you are safe even in a shipwreck!

Bible Study Time / Reading Time ~ A Need for Both

In April (2011) I finished my 8^th time reading completely through the Bible (both the Old and New Testaments of the Authorized King James Version) and started my 9^th time through in May. These were eight purposely recorded times, so I’m not just guessing that I’ve read the Bible enough to call it eight times through, I actually did.

I don’t say that to be bragging, to be honest, I’ve been saved more than 40 years and I should be able to say I’ve completely read through the entire Bible more than that. So, this post is not about bragging, it’s about encouraging one another.

If you’re like me, you study your Bible often because you have a Sunday School lesson to prepare for, or you have a devotion to give at a Ladies Fellowship, or somebody asked you a Bible question that you’re seeking an answer for, but I often used my Bible study time to count as my Bible reading time, after all, it’s pretty much the same thing... right? And that’s the mistake I think too many Christians make.

Bible study time is not the same as Bible reading time... yes, you have to read to study... but when you study, your mind is focused on one particular topic, unlike when you read and your mind is open to different topics and thoughts. We need to do both, read and study the Bible. There have been many times that the passages of scripture I was reading for the day, were just what I needed for the topic of study I was preparing for, and it could have been missed if I was studying without reading.

I hope you have been encouraged... but I really hope you have been challenged by this posted.

God bless.

Beating Post High School Challenges

Beating Post HS Challenges
By Cary Schmidt (published by permission)

Have you ever seen a train wreck? There’s not a much more vivid metaphor than the unbridled collision of several tons of moving metal resulting in twisted steel, broken glass and an industrial disaster of gargantuan proportions. Too often we see high school graduates celebrate their graduation night and start down the tracks of adulthood only to wreck their lives just a few miles from the train station!

This is the time of year we see our graduates “commence”—begin their adult lives, their post-high school years; so I thought it would be appropriate to consider the top three challenges facing every graduate. It could be stated that these are the first big and immediate tests that confront a young adult immediately after high school. If they pass these tests, they avoid the bad decisions that can lead to a spiritual train wreck. Perhaps these thoughts will be helpful to you as you prepare graduates for adulthood!

1. The Challenge of a Job—Exodus 20:9-10 says, “Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God.” God created us to work and expects us to lead productive lives. (Ecclesiastes 9:10, “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might.”) And every young adult is excited about having that first job! Mine was making Big Macs at McDonalds. What a joy. And yet, so many young people allow their job to become their first spiritual downfall—often within a few weeks of high school graduation. How?

They Work at the Wrong Place—even in a tough economy, starter jobs are pretty easy to find—especially for hard working, honest, and clean-cut young people. It’s amazing how many Christians will take jobs at places that a Christian has no business working. No amount of money is worth corrupting your heart and mind, so teach young adults to be selective about work environments. It is possible to work in the world without “eating the king’s meat.” For every Christian, there ought to be some places we just wouldn’t work, no matter what.

They Work at the Wrong Time—the first test of a new job is Sunday work. How is it that we can toss God and His church aside for $7.50 an hour? One of the greatest reasons young people fall away from God after high school is that they stop attending church because of work! But for those who honor God’s commands and protect Sunday, God always provides for their needs in a better way. I’ve watched it hundreds of times over the years—God always takes care of those who protect His day and who stay deliberately and faithfully involved in their local church.

They Work for the Wrong Purpose—some young people view their new job as nothing more than a way to meet new friends and buy clothes or iPods, while others see it as a temporary means to a more important end and a way to be a witness for Christ. Those with a higher purpose—pursuing the will of God—always keep their job in check and view it as an opportunity to facilitate God’s will in other areas.

2. The big challenge is that of friends. Daniel chapter 1 is one of the greatest lessons on friendship in the entire Bible. Because one man took at stand, three others stood with him—regardless of the rest of the crowd. And in the end, all four of them ended up 10 times better than everyone else in the realm! What a huge lesson on carefully choosing friends and being willing to walk away from the wrong crowd.

After graduation—those who choose the wrong crowd basically choose the wrong life! It’s that simple.

Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” Nothing changes more rapidly after high school than friendships! A new job, less time with youth group friends, and college brings a whole new world of associations into the life of a young adult. This is a wonderful opportunity that brings with it some danger for those unprepared. Essentially, every graduate needs to understand how to draw a careful line between friends and acquaintances—defined as follows:

Skeptics, Spectators, and Servants

Skeptics, Spectators, and Servants
By Cary Schmidt (published by permission)

In John 11, the amazing story of the raising of Lazarus unfolds. Not long ago, I was studying this passage and it occurred to me that there were three distinct groups of people at this resurrection, and those groups are still pretty much “alive and kicking” in today’s local churches.

Picture the scene—Jesus has waited for Mary outside of town, and “the Jews” have followed her, weeping (John 11:32-33), as she goes to meet Him. Then together they go to Lazarus’ grave, and the Jews follow. In the next few moments an unbelievable miracle occurs—Jesus raises a man from the dead! And in the midst of this amazing event, we see three groups:

First, meet the skeptics (11:46)—amazingly, these were people who, though a man was just raised from the dead, all they could do was run to the pharisees to stir up trouble! When I read that verse, I want to scream at them, “Are you kidding me?! What are you insane?! A man was just resurrected! Are we living on the same planet here?” Plainly, these people were nuts—absolutely disconnected and dysfunctional in every way.

Skeptics. They are everywhere, and no matter what happens, they just can’t accept truth. In modern ministry, these are the people standing in the shadows, arms folded, sporting an obviously cynical attitude—no matter whose life is changing! They are self-appointed, self-righteous cynics who set out in any endeavor to doubt and question the actions and motives of others. They are professional murmurers whose built-in paradigm paints everything in a negative light, regardless of how pure or true it may be. Skeptics never participate in God’s work. They just tag along with those who do, so they can criticize them later.

Second, meet the spectators (11:33, 11:45)—at the same scene were Jews, friends of Mary and Martha, who were not yet followers of Jesus. But they were curious about Him. They followed Mary to meet Him. They watched as He spoke with Mary. They even commented and speculated as to what Jesus was saying and how He was feeling. And a few moments later, they saw the miracle and finally believed!

In modern ministry, these are the people standing on the sidelines without an attitude or negative paradigm. They are intrigued—curious. They are interested in what’s happening. They are still evaluating. They like the excitement of a growing church, a dynamic environment, or an energetic group of joyful people. But they are not participating—yet! (Emphasis on yet.) For now they are just watching. Spectators don’t have any ill-will. They aren’t an enemy. Sometimes they are just a bit fearful or hesitant to take a risk, make the sacrifice, commit to a decision, or really “get involved.”

Spectators are inviting you to convince them—to win them. They are looking for a compelling reason to believe. They are waiting to see if you are for real. And notice that Jesus didn’t chase them off. Quite the opposite. The whole miracle was for these people, that they might believe (11:42). Don’t be a spectator hater. Just patiently help them see and believe. And be patient. Sometimes it takes time.

Finally, meet the servants (11:41)—somebody moved the stone. The Bible says, “they.” I don’t know who “they” were, but I sure like them! They weren’t skeptical, and they weren’t spectating. They were obedient. They stepped up, heard Jesus’ seemingly nonsensical command to “take away the stone,” and they just did what He said! Amazing! What faith. What hearts. What simple, servant-hearted people.

In modern ministry, these are the people fully engaged in the work of God. They are immersed in the ministry, the effort, or the energy in motion—simply because they love the Lord and want to obey Him. They are gladly giving of themselves and willingly expending themselves in faith. They are engaged in serving so that others around them might believe. They are up earlier, awake longer, working harder, and loving every minute of it! They relish not just seeing God work, but actually participating in God’s work! They don’t want to criticize a great work. They refuse to just watch a great work—they have to be in the work! They are addicted to the ministry. (1 Corinthians 16:15)

Simple question—who are you? Are you a skeptic? A spectator? Or a servant? When you are found in the midst of a ministry miracle, which group do you join? Are you standing in the shadows, arms folded, sporting a scowl and eager to run to your lair to pick it apart? Are you watching on the sidelines with curiosity and intrigue, not quite sure you believe? Or are you rolling up your sleeves to join the guys who are moving the stone?

As for me—I don’t want to live my life in the critic’s lair or on the spectator’s sideline. I want God to thrust me into the action of authentic ministry! Let me be one of the guys that moves the stone so that others might see God’s miracles and believe! http://www.caryschmidt.com/

Influence vs. Control

Influence vs. Control
By Cary Schmidt (published by permission)

Sometimes we get mixed up in ministry. We forget that our responsibility is not control it is influence. God never gave us control of people, their lifestyles, or their choices. He created free will, and gives each individual responsibility for their choices. I fear, out of good intentions, some spiritual leaders cross the line and actually try to control behavior rather than influence the heart. There are a lot of reasons this well-intentioned approach to ministry is really bad:

God Gave Us Influence not Control—He allows us to influence others, but He reserves the right of control strictly to Himself. In ministry, it is influence that we seek, and only that we might use influence to compel others to live by biblical principles in complete submission to the One who truly does have ultimate control. We don’t have control of others—ever. God does. And He loans us influence—through spiritual means. He commands us to be living examples to others, persuading them, not mandating them, to live godly. (”In meekness instructing them that opposed themselves.” 2 Timothy 2:25) We cannot mandate others to live righteously, but we can persuade them to. We cannot push others to God, but we can lead them to Him.

Control Is a Delusion, Influence Is Real—Even if we fools ourselves into believing we could have control, it’s a myth. We don’t. We never have. We couldn’t. We shouldn’t want to. It is a complete waste of time to grasp for the reigns of someone else’s decisions. And if someone actually gave us control, it would be temporary, fleeting, ultimately failing, and vain. We have enough trouble controlling ourselves, much less others. (1Timothy 4:16, “Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.”)

Control Is Lordship, Influence Is Leadership—We blow it when we cross the line of spiritual leadership by seeking control. This is simply lording over God’s heritage, which we are commanded not to do. 1 Peter 5:3, “Neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being ensamples to the flock.” This phrase being lords over speaks of subjugation, domination, and attempting to control, and God expressly forbid it in spiritual leaders. The word ensamples speaks to influence.

Control Builds Man-Dependence, Influence Builds God-Dependence—If someone actually gave you control of their choices, they become dependent upon you. Wrong answer. They are supposed to be dependent upon God. Spiritual leaders are not called to make decisions for people. We are called to build them in biblical principles that create God-dependence. It’s pretty hard to trust in the Lord with all my heart, if my heart is dependent upon another man. (Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart…”)

People Resent Control, but Appreciate Influence—Attempting to manipulate the behavior of others, even toward ultimately biblical and good ends, only leads to disenchantment and desertion. A life built upon the control of another human being will ultimately run away from that control in search of a better reason for living. To the contrary, a life surrendered to the control of Almighty God has discovered the ultimate purpose of living!

Control Is for Environments, Influence Is for People—Of course you must control your classroom, your youth activity, your church service. God does commands us to let all things be done decently and in order (1 Corinthians 14:40). Controlled environments allow for healthy ministry and effective influence.

Authentic Ministry Is about Influence—Ministry is about developing a biblical relationship with someone that allows you to bring eternal truth—God’s principles—to bear in their decision making, thinking, behavior, and daily lifestyle. This is influence. It isn’t control. (2 Corinthians 5:11, “Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are made manifest unto God; and I trust also are made manifest in your consciences.”)

Influence Is Earned not Grasped—If you don’t have influence with someone (if they are unresponsive to your persuasion), you will never gain influence by grasping for control. Seek to love, not control. Seek to persuade—to gain a sphere of influence through a loving relationship—then work within that sphere to enlarge biblical influence and compel that person to live under the Holy Spirit’s control.

Persuade is the biblical word (2 Corinthians 5:11)—in the end, as ministers of Christ, that’s what we are—persuaders. We seek to persuade, through our lives—our words and our actions. We seek to influence others to live by biblical principle under the authority of Almighty God—to give HIM control, not us.

But always use influence biblically. God gives us influence to use for His glory, not for personal agenda. Our influence should direct others to God’s agenda for their lives, not ours. Our influence should direct others to hear and heed the inner work of the Holy Spirit in their lives. Our persuasion must be thoroughly selfless and abundantly biblical.

In speaking with Dr. John Goetsch about this subject he made this statement, “God identifies people as sheep in the Bible. Sheep cannot be driven, but they can be led.” As we lead people, and influence them, we are genuinely building them in Christ. Hence the spiritual decisions they make are not contrived, forced, mandated, or manufactured. They are genuinely produced by the Spirit of God.

The hardest part of ministry is watching people do things and make decisions that you know are harmful to them. God doesn’t give us control of those decisions. But He does allow us influence—the power of persuasion. Seek to influence others with a servant’s heart today.

Actually it’s kind of funny to think that one dumb sheep would attempt to control another dumb sheep. Let’s leave the control part up to God, and do our best to take heed unto ourselves and biblically influence others to do the same. http://www.caryschmidt.com/

Don't You Just Love Being Criticized?

Yeah, I thought so, You love it as much as I do. Who doesn't hate being criticized? Lately, it seems the Lord has thought it necessary for me to learn how to respond to criticism in the right way. Fun. I started working through the first issue only to turn around and have it coming from another direction. Okay Lord, I guess you are trying to teach me something here. It is especially hard when you feel it is unjustified or that the person didn't get all the facts before being critical.

So, how do you respond? My first reaction is to become self-defensive. It is so easy to come up with a million reasons to defend yourself. But, wait a minute...am I letting pride real its ugly head? Maybe God is trying to show me mine own critical attitude. You know, of course I never criticize and neither do you, do you?

Let's look at this criticism again...ok, maybe there is at least some truth in it. Still, it is so easy to go on the defensive. Isn't is easy to turn around and start being critical of the one criticizing you? Yup, I'm not the only one. So...do I listen to the criticism or do I let it make me bitter?

Next time you think of being critical, think of something kind or encouraging to say to the person instead. And...next time someone criticizes you, take what you can from it, forgive and move on. It's not worth getting bitter over.

Proverbs 15:23, "A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!"

Defeating the Media Monster

Defeating the Media Monster
By Cary Schmidt (published by permission)
Media will eat your family alive, unless you tell it not to!

I have a deep inner aversion to living things that crawl, creep, fly, or slither around and find their way into places they don’t belong. They bother me. They creep me out. I just want them dead as quickly as I can make it happen. It’s not really of fear, but of something that has more to do with dominance and my human right to “not be creeped out”! (After all, it’s in everybody’s basic rights—life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and the freedom to be uncreeped!) http://www.caryschmidt.com

Not long ago, I had a bat in my office. Another time, a bird came flying in—yes, a BIRD—into my third-floor office! Shortly thereafter, a lizard showed up in a secretary’s office. And as you might imagine, these things not only hindered work flow, they significantly raised the threat level on the “creep-ometer.” They were nasty little living things that found their way into areas they didn’t belong. They disturbed and disrupted, and they had to be dealt with. And in each case—they were. (The sentence was “death by broomstick.”)

In much the same way, only on a spiritual level, the media of our society is constantly and forever trying to creep its way into places it doesn’t belong—in our hearts and homes. The tools of that media come in a wide variety—from TVs, to computers, to video game consoles, to cell phones, to iPods, to social websites and dozens of other helpful and potentially enjoyable gadgets and toys. The message of that media depends upon our day to day choices—who we communicate with, what we listen to, what we post, what we watch or play, and who we follow or befriend. The media itself isn’t all bad and the tools of media are not intrinsically wicked—it’s what that media can become and the unrestrained messages it brings with it that poses great risk.

Simply put: media will eat your family alive unless you tell it not to. When unrestrained, media can be like little roving creatures looking for a new place to settle. Uncontained, it will creep and crawl its way into every possible area of your life, family, and relationships—threatening a lot of good stuff along the way. In our society, media is Satan’s primary tool of communication and destruction—in spite of the good that modern technology can bring.

So what do Christian families do with so many varieties of media threats? There are two extremes. The first is to completely ignore the threat, letting each family member have complete media freedom. In this case media becomes a raging monster rampaging through a home with an insatiable appetite for destroying relationships and addicting hearts to sin and vice. The second extreme is unprincipled abstinence—the decision to remove all media from our lives without explanation or biblical training. This approach results in our children eventually facing the media monster alone in their adult lives with no biblical foundation on which to stand. In the first extreme, media becomes dominant in the home and relationships die early. In the second, media waits patiently to ravage an unprepared life later.

In a multimedia age, it’s time that parents and children engage in the day to day process of understanding, discerning, taming, and containing the media beast. Proverbs 22:6 teaches us, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” The process of “training up” is a time-consuming, fully-engaged, active, and deliberate course of action. Yet, I find that few parents have intentionally determined to “train up” their children in defeating one of the greatest threats to their future spiritual well-being—mass media (including airwaves, music, internet, video games, cell-phones and all that comes with them.)

Some parents desire to “train up” but they feel overwhelmed or are not sure where to begin. Yet, the risk is too great not to jump on this beast and ride it into submission. Honestly, we’re all still learning and media is ever changing, but for the next page, let’s examine the big challenges media brings, and then some practical steps to defeating and taming this monster. There are five huge challenges that media brings into our homes:

First, the challenge of perversion—whether it’s a TV show, an inappropriate website, or a profane facebook posting, the media of our culture has given a loud and long voice to a massive amount of perversion. It’s difficult to even buy a gallon of milk without having to see and hear the filth of our world being broadcast or displayed. Even the conservative news outlets are shameless when it comes to advertising or stories having to do with sexual matters. This challenge threatens our purity, and God commands us to flee youthful lusts (Ephesians 4:29) and to be wise to that which is good and simple concerning evil (Romans 16:19).

Second, is the challenge of deception—the media of our culture is constantly heralding Satan’s lies about love, happiness, and life. Additionally, the internet gives someone a lot of opportunities to “be someone else” or to participate in gossip, slander, and harmful chat. The deception of anonymity has drawn many into second lives, inappropriate relationships, and deceptive communications. But God tells us in James 4:8 to cleanse our hands, purify our hearts from double-mindedness and draw nigh to God once again.

Who Is Increasing In Your Life?

Who Is Increasing In Your Life?
By Cary Schmidt (published by permission)
The final message of Spiritual Leadership Conference 2010 was brought by Dr. Don Sisk and entitled “He Must Increase, I Must Decrease.” It was awesome! It profoundly impacted me, and I wanted to share a synopsis of it here. Perhaps it will encourage you.

Taken from the statement of John the Baptist in John 3:30, Dr. Sisk challenged us with this question: Who is growing (or increasing) in your life? A servant leader will always seek to decrease that Christ might increase. And when Christ increases, many things will reveal that increase—Dr. Sisk gave six evidences:

When Christ increases in my life, the following six things will happen:

1. I will think less of self and more about others. Every day that I live, I am more and more challenged by this thought. It’s so easy to think of me first. Isn’t it great that the Holy Spirit offers to fill us and help us overcome such a demanding flesh!

2. I will be less interested in material possessions and more interested in eternal values. This one heaps more conviction upon the first! With culture constantly calling us to the discontented life, a Christ-dominant life will rest in contentment only found in Him, and will seek His kingdom first.

3. I will be less competitive with others and more cooperative with others. Whether it’s between siblings in the same family, members in the same church, staff members on the same team, or pastors in the same city, this one is tough to hide! Everyone benefits when you choose to humble yourself and cooperate with those that God has placed in your life—regardless of who gets the credit.

4. I will be less concerned about drawing a crowd and more concerned about making disciples. It’s not about the size of a church, it’s about the magnitude of our awesome Saviour and His work in transforming even one life! My life was changed in a small church, and chances are so was yours.

5. I will be less consumed with what I want to do and more consumed with what God wants me to do. It’s amazing how we can impose our good intentions upon God. We can dictate how we desire to serve Him. But when Christ increases, what I want becomes irrelevant. Obeying Him becomes life’s primary focus.

6. I will be less consumed with keeping everyone together and more concerned about getting people out to the lost. A challenge to parents regarding their children, to Christians living in their own personal comfort zone, and to pastors, this point calls us to go where God leads us, even when it means saying goodbye to those we love.

In conclusion, Dr. Sisk asked: Who is growing in my life? If I am getting bigger, then Jesus is getting smaller. If I am getting smaller, then Jesus is getting bigger.

May God give us a desire to decrease that He might increase and fulfill all of His will in us and through us!

Note: I encourage you to listen to the message. You will find it in audio form here... http://www.caryschmidt.com/

Making the Busiest Time of Year the Best!

Making the Busiest Time of Year the Best!
By Cary Schmidt (published by permission)

No doubt, this is the best time of the year! And in many ways, it’s also the busiest. There’s a simple, effective way to make the Christmas season balanced and Christ-honoring. On this first day of December I challenge you to do the following exercise. It will spare you a lot of frustration in the next four weeks.

1. Start with the December Calendar—get the month of December, and place everything you have scheduled onto that calendar. Though I use a computer calendar, I find that printing it out helps for this process. The key is, it must be complete. Everything you have scheduled needs to be visible in one place—every church service, every soulwinning time, every appointment, every fellowship, every basketball game, every commitment, etc. You might consider color coding it—family, church, work, etc.

2. Set an Appointment with Your Spouse—find at least an hour over lunch or go to a quiet place where you can study the month together and discuss the commitments. This appointment is critical. A lot of times, we have frustration in our relationships regarding schedules because of a lack of communication. When our expectations differ, we are on a collision course. When we can talk about our schedule ahead of time and decide together what is best, things go better because we share the same expectations. This solves a lot of problems before they happen.

3. Together, Make a List of Things You Want/Need to Do This Month—creatively make a list of the things you want to do to make December special and memorable. For us this is usually things like decorate the tree, make some sugar cookies, play some games on family nights, have a couple of nice dinners out, take family photos, do some Christmas shopping, maybe visit a Christmas place (lights, etc.). Decide when and how you will make Christmas memorable for your family.

4. Together, Make a List of People You Desire to Minister To—the Lord will lead you to minister to people this season. It might be a neighbor, a friend, a coworker, a Sunday school class, or some other family or group in your church. Determine how you will minister to them—whether it is inviting them to church, hosting them at your home, baking some treats, hosting a fellowship, or doing some other act of kindness.

10 Things Teens Won’t Tell You

10 Things Teens Won’t Tell You
By Cary Schmidt (published by permission)

Have you noticed that teens are tight lipped? For a myriad of reasons—usually intimidation being the biggest—they really find it difficult to talk to adults at times. This is especially true with parents. In every home, there is a spiritual battle against authentic communication. Let’s face it—the devil doesn’t want parents and teens to truly open their hearts to each other.

But strong families resist this battle and conquer it. On the other side of the mountain of silence is a fertile meadow of healthy hearts. It’s a deliberate journey to get there, but it’s worth the effort. There isn’t a much sweeter experience in life than open, honest, heart-full communication between a parent and teen. When you have it, you gain a deep, satisfactory sense that this is what God intended in a family.

Malachi 4:6 teaches, “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers…” In an effort to turn your heart toward your children, I wanted to share the results of a simple survey I did with our students several years ago. These statements and quotes came from faithful Christian adults who grew up in godly homes and in our youth group. The quotes below is what they shared about why they stayed faithful God. This list is what your teens think, whether they tell you or not; and it’s a great place to start a conversation:

1. I know whether you are faking it or not. (Contradiction is extremely confusing.) Amazingly, teens can see straight through us. They know our hearts, they constantly evaluate our motives, our spirit, and our life. If it’s consistent, then they accept our faith as real. If not, then they struggle with the conflict and often reject our faith outright.

Quote: “The teens are encouraged to read their Bibles and I am sure some of them have never seen their parents even pray outside of church.”

Quote: “I don’t think my parents ever contradicted themselves. They live honest lives, which makes it easy to trust them.”

Quote: “Honestly, I can’t remember my parents ever faking it. They were very open and honest with me.”

2. I need to talk openly with you about our faith. (Make sense of my faith.) Teens have questions. That doesn’t automatically make them rebels. They simply need to make a legitimate connection between God’s principles and real life. Many parents see this as the church’s responsibility. And, in part, it is. But every parent must help their teens see the common sense behind God’s eternal truth.

Quote: “My parents were great at this – especially my dad. He would always be bringing up different spiritual issues and explaining to me why we believed it. Sometimes he would bring up different arguments that unsaved people give about some of the things we believe, and he would explain to us why these arguments were wrong.”

Quote: “I never had to bring up a conversation about God or what we believed. My parents were always using every chance they got to expound on why we believe what we believe- there’s a spiritual moral to everything in life.”

Quote: “I grew up in a great church with great Bible preaching (that left few holes to be filled). I didn’t go to my parents often with questions about our faith, but when I did, I receive a Bible answer.”

Playing the part of the enemy.

Recently I overheard a few young people sharing their excitement over having tickets to attend some famous rock star’s concert that’s happening soon. They were ecstatic; they couldn’t believe they were able to get such good seats; they were trying to figure out who else they would take with them and what outfits they were going to wear! It was really this intense conversation that was happening behind me that I had no business in, yet was eavesdropping anyways. Oh, I think I failed to mention… these individuals are Christians.

What exactly did God mean in II Corinthians 6:17? “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you…” It seems pretty simple and straight-forward to me. But the thought doesn’t end there – there’s one sentence is finished with this: “And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.” (vs. 18) There’s a great reason why Christians should be separated from the world and its ways. If you’re truly saved, then you’re the child of the King! You are princes and princesses. You never see royalty rolling around in the mud, associating with criminals or rebels, or engaging in activities of the enemy… they don’t mingle with and engage in “common” activities. They are separated. They are distinct. The same should go for Christians.

Music
I love music. It is one of the things I enjoy most in this world. I play the piano, I love to sing, I love to write music… but even more, I love to listen to music. Music has always been a great help to me – especially when I’m sad or frustrated. But it has also been a great downfall for me as well. I used to listen to it all… well, I never like that scream-o stuff, heavy metal, anything I had to plug my ears and strain to understand – that was just never enjoyable for me. But I used to crave hip hop, R&B, rap, rock, alternative, some country, and a few others. I knew the music was doing absolutely nothing to edify me or help me grow in any way – I knew music that exalted sex, drugs, alcohol, crime, violence, suicide, and a multitude of other unBiblical activities was something that I really shouldn’t be feeding into my mind… but I liked the beat. I liked the way it made my car rumble. I liked the way it made me feel. Ah, the way music makes us “feel” – that’s the big one. It stimulates our emotions; makes us forget the cares of the world for a few minutes; breaks the silence; gives us something to constantly keep our minds busy with. The problem with that music is that it doesn’t glorify the Lord in any way.

How to Help a Wounded Person

How to Help a Wounded Person
By Cary Schmidt (published by permission)

One of the most difficult circumstances of life and ministry is to try to help someone who has been deeply hurt. These are hard moments. More than anything, you want to take away the hurt, undo the pain, and fix the problem. But it’s just not that easy. Woundedness—regardless of how it occurred—requires time and God’s grace in order to heal.

Here are a few thoughts (not exhaustive by any means) that you might be able to place in your tool box to encourage and help those who are wounded.

First—Teach through Hebrews 12. Much of life’s pain is not disciplinary in nature—but all of it is allowed of God and is intended to be used by Him to produce good in our lives (Romans 8:28). Hebrews 12 deals powerfully with how Christians should respond to wounds and chastening—by claiming God’s grace and turning away from bitterness. As I study this passage it seems that chastening can be both disciplinary and nurturing in nature. In other words, it’s not always about discipline, but it is always difficult and painful.

Second—Emphasize God’s Desire to Heal. (vs. 13) The focus of Hebrews 12 is the peaceable fruit—the outcome of grace. Help the hurting person find hope in looking forward. In time, God’s grace can work all things to our eventual profit. Satan wants the hurting to only focus on the past—the hurt. After all, it’s difficult to imagine how the abuse of another can produce something good in me! God calls His child to “lift up the hands which hang down.” He offers hope in what is yet to come by His grace.

Third—Call the Hurting to Pursue Peace with All Men. (v. 14) For God’s healing, the wounded must have a right heart toward the relationships of life—even the broken ones. This is a bit different for each situation, and forgiveness is always a journey—a process of forgiving over and over again. But one condition of God’s healing is that the hurting must have an agenda of peace not revenge or resentment.

Becoming an Insightful Parent

Becoming an Insightful Parent
By Cary Schmidt (published by permission)
Becoming an Insightful ParentDiscerning Your Child’s Needs and Responding Biblically

Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Do you understand your children? Do you know how to interpret their behavior? Do you understand warning signs and know how to respond? Do you connect their outward behavior with the condition of their heart?

 In Hebrews 5:12-13 we read a challenge to believers to be skillful in the Word and discerning, “For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. 13 For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. 14 But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.”

The word discerning speaks of judicial estimation—the wisdom and ability to see what’s really doing on in a circumstance. This ability is something we should all desire in every area of life, but especially with nurturing of our own children. Frankly, the primary thing many parents care about is if their kids are “staying out of trouble.” But discerning parents desire to get beneath the surface and to understand what’s going on in they heart. Why?

The heart is where Biblical values are formed—only when we understand their heart can we understand where they stand with God, and if their faith is authentic or merely an outward, temporary show.

The heart is where questions are contemplated—every child has questions, and Satan is good at exploiting these questions and providing false answers. Parents who get into the heart, unearth those questions so they can provide biblical answers.

The heart is where real relationships are cultivated—like the root system of a tree or healthy plant, it’s beneath the surface, face to face, eye to eye, and heart to heart, that a strong relationship and authentic closeness is built.

The heart is where spiritual battle is fought—the Devil is going after our kids hearts. He wants their emotions, their beliefs, and their attitudes. If we’re going to with the spiritual battle, it must be fought for the heart.

A discerning parent is constantly on a sacred pursuit of their child’s heart. Let’s examine ten keys to developing a discerning spirit with our children:

1. Understand God’s Word - the primary way that any of us grow in discernment is the Word of God. The principles of God’s Word provide a foundation of understanding. If you will become a discerning parent, you must become a student of God’s Word and of good parenting books that expound God’s Word.

2. Ask for God’s Wisdom - This is one of God’s great promises to us in James 1—that He will give wisdom to anyone who will ask in faith. Wisdom is the ability to see the real needs and know how to respond. It is the ability to see your child as God sees and to respond as He would have you to respond. Wisdom will help you know when they need to be sent to their room, taken out to lunch, or put to bed.

3. Pray with and for Your Children - nothing will help you understand where the heart is like prayer with someone. Make it a priority to pray with them each night before bed. Sense their heart toward you, toward the Lord, and toward the challenges of life through their response—physically, in prayer. So few parents actually do this, but it’s so powerful and so simple! This brief time of prayer will accomplish spiritually what weeks and weeks of human effort could never accomplish.

Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness

I have a vivid imagination and I love looking at artwork. Sometimes the works just speak to my soul, as is the case with the above artwork called The Invitation by Danny Hahlbolm .

The beauty of the table at the Marriage Supper Of The Bride Of Christ spoke to me. The beautiful china, glasses and cutlery, the immaculate table cloth, the perfectly set table thrilled my soul and tantalised my imagination....

As I gazed at the picture, I wondered how we would have reacted if the table hadn't been set properly- you know, like we sometimes do at home? Would a spotted and wrinkled table cloth have the power to draw us into thoughts of heaven and our marriage supper with Christ? How about spots on the glasses and coffee stains in the cups? Honestly, I think it would be a turn off! I think a less than perfect table and setting would be dishonouring to God.... for like it or not, housekeeping does reflect on the home keeper, for better or worse.

There is an old proverb that says that cleanliness is next to godliness...and I think to a certain extent that that is true.... We should endeavour to have our homes clean and comfortable for they not only reflect on ourselves, but also they point to our heart and faith....

A bit extreme! you say? I don't think so. If we are honest with ourselves, don't we silently think less of a woman who lives in filth or dirt? And when that woman is a Christian, don't we wonder about her relationship with Christ if she cannot fulfill her obligations as a homemaker? I know this to be true, because just such a woman once hosted a Bible Class morning with her home almost making us retch as we sat amongst her doggy smelling carpet and armchairs full of dog fur. Not to mention the kitty litter tray wafting its reek from the nearby laundry.

Offering to help her was not an option as this woman had been helped repeatedly by Sisters in her cell group, but never kept up the good work that the Sisters did. She was too busy reading books- Christian books at that. I believe that this showed a lack of discipline and also a rebellion in doing something she did not want to do: in this case, her housework. My poor Sisters were left feeling slightly used and annoyed. They had cleaned the house a week ago and it should still have been reasonably clean.....

Cleanliness is something we all take for granted....and it is something that isn't noticed until we neglect it. But because cleanliness is symptomatic of our heart attitude and efforts, it also reflects on our walk with the LORD. Cleanliness is next to godliness and reflects on God and us. Let's try to keep our homes and ourselves clean enough to not bring shame on us and dishonour to God! by Danny Hahlbolm

Blessings,

of Morning Cuppas With Glenys

Depart ye, depart ye, go ye out from thence, touch no unclean [thing]; go ye out of the midst of her; be ye clean, that bear the vessels of the LORD. Isaiah 52:11

Love Me First

Love Me First

~ Author Unknown

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God says to the Christian, “No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone. Not until you have given yourself totally unreservedly to Me, until you have an intensely personal unique relationship with Me alone. Not until you have discovered that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found. Then will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.

You will never be united with another until you are united with Me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you. Just keep watching Me, expecting greatest things. Keep experiencing the satisfactions that I am. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.

You just wait, that’s all. Don’t be anxious, don’t worry. Don’t look around at the things other have gotten or that I’ve given them. Don’t look at things you think you want. And then, when you’re ready, and until the one I have for you is ready – I am working even this moment to have both of you ready at the same time – until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I prepared for you, you won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and is thus the perfect love. And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me. I want you to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself.

Know that I love you utterly,
I am Almighty.

Parents Of Prodigals

My husband and I have experienced the reality of knowing, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” 3 John 4 Our two daughters professed Christ at an early age, witnessed in their schools, traveled on mission trips, and embarked into adult life with a passion for Christ. Our family life has been built around joy and laughter; and even through the teen years, we enjoyed close family times backpacking and ministering together here and abroad. The girls have been characterized as leaders, constantly encouraging and challenging those around them to live their Christian beliefs.

It always brought us great joy knowing that our children were walking in the truth. Then one bought into a lie. Now we see the flip side to the above verse; there is no greater sorrow than seeing your children walk in a lie. Since our daughter’s ungodly choices, we have grieved for the loss of our close family relationships, for our witness in our community and family, over the eventual consequences of her decisions, and even grieved that God would allow this to happen.

Our joy, peace, energy, and focus have been drained and replaced with despair, anger, fatigue and distractedness. We have been plagued by questions. How could this happen? What should we do? What would influence her? How should we respond? Our close family was thrown into crisis; joy turned to sorrow, and lies twisted truth. The parable of the prodigal son has become a real and personal journey with a precious, yet prodigal, daughter.

At one point in this heavy journey, I had a mental picture of us facing our prodigal daughter, she standing with her back to us. We were pleading and begging for her to turn around, listen to God’s Word, and recognize the lies. Then the focus shifted and God was standing behind me, my back turned to Him, and He was calling me to turn around and to recognize the lies. God was trying to get my attention while I was trying to get my daughter’s attention. Her lies were different from mine, but nonetheless I had also been ensnared by lies. God was pleading with me to recognize and accept His truth in my own life.

God’s truth needs to be sorted from the enemy’s lies.

I cannot allow my daughter’s actions to define me, but I can, through God’s help, allow them to refine me. Through godly counsel and His Word, the truth is being sifted from the enemy’s subtle and pervasive lies. The refinement process is not complete, but I have identified, examined, and discarded the following lies:

Lie #1: What if?

The enemy loves to get us into the “what if” or blame game. What if I had been more persuasive? What if I had counseled her with more studied words? What if I had been more discerning? What if I had just been a better mom? I was consumed with analyzing every nuance over the past years, reviewing my interactions, and questioning my role as both mother and wife.

My analytical thoughts became paralyzing and I spiraled downward into a pit of remorse and inadequacy. Slowly through the slime, I began to see that it is not all about me. My eloquence or lack of it, my parenting skills or lack of them, will not ultimately change a heart. That is the Holy Spirit’s job. I can be obedient to God’s direction. I can do the best I can in parenting and counseling. But the ultimate work is God’s. My pleas will not bring a prodigal into right thinking, right living, or right decisions.

Our daughter made this choice in spite of Scripture, godly models, and counsel, and she will also reap the consequences of her choice. Ezekiel 18:20 reminds us that “…the son will not share the guilt of the father, nor will the father share the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous man will be credited to him, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against him.” I can neither accept the blame nor take the credit. The “what ifs” must cease because they are not from God.

Lie #2: If you parent well enough, your child will not make ungodly choices.

When my daughter turned away from her firm foundation, I questioned how this could happen to my family. Subconsciously and incorrectly, I presumed that Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” guaranteed a child’s godly choices. The Lord showed me, through my own heartache, that I have wrongly judged others and their parenting ability. I thought if someone had a child not walking with the Lord, it was always a direct reflection on their parenting skills. Now on the other side with a wayward daughter, I realize the lie and repent of my judgment of others. Godly parenting does not guarantee a godly child.

Lie #3: My prodigal adult child disqualifies me for ministry.

One of the qualifications listed in 1 Tim. 3:4 for an overseer is to “manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.” This does not refer to adult children. But Satan wants to fuel our insecurities, have us focus on our inadequacies, and cripple our ministries. Instead of stepping out of ministry, we should step up to be used by God. The more open and transparent we are in our parenting journey, the more dependent we are on Him for strength, and the more opportunities there will be for us to minister.

During the painful times of answering concerned inquires about our daughter, has emerged a new openness for those sharing similar burdens. One embarrassing instance of addressing pointed questions at a neighborhood party resulted in a phenomenal opportunity to share God’s truth. Leadership is not about being perfect individuals. It is about being humbly obedient and available. Transparency and vulnerability can make us better servant ministers.

Lie #4: God is powerless to intervene.

Somewhere in this extended battle, I crossed the line from believing God would not act to believing God could not act. I fell prey to the lie that God could not change our daughter’s mind or way. My personal systematic theology had me spinning in circles around God’s sovereignty and the free will of man. The Lord had chosen to not answer my fervent prayers to radically intervene in our daughter’s life. Since faith and hope are intricately entwined, I was hopeless.

My view of God was too small. I do not understand how God’s sovereignty and free will work, but I have become convinced that God is so much bigger than we can ever imagine. He can and will intervene if He so chooses. This mom needs to trust more, worry less, and stop trying to figure everything out. He is God and I am not! My God, our God, is a God of hope that fills us with all joy and peace as we trust in Him (Rom. 15:13), and He is more than able to do great things.

This mother’s journey in parenting a prodigal is far from over. The hurt and sadness are still very real and close. But as the Lord has revealed the insidiousness of the enemy’s lies, the burden has become more manageable. Now I can focus on what I am learning and not on what my daughter should be learning. This was reiterated during a recent visit. We were scheduled to rendezvous with our precious prodigal after church.

The sermon was unexpectedly all too relevant: “Grace Demands a Death.” The pastor pointed out that if we are to extend grace, as Christ did, we must also experience death. As parents, we need to die to our dreams, our desires, and our expectations for our children. We need to love them unconditionally, expecting nothing in return. Still stirred from this poignant message, we exited the church building and saw our daughter standing on the far side of the parking lot.

My husband ran to our cold, stiff daughter, standing sullenly by the car, and wrapped her in a warm, loving hug. That was our best visit to date! My hope has been renewed; He is restoring my soul. Like Habakkuk, I will wait and keep watch from the ramparts to see what the Lord will do. God is in control and He loves us and our prodigals dearly. author unknown

As a mother of a prodigal, I found this article very truthful and helpful. To all parents of prodigals I say, "Don't look inward, behind or forward- just keep looking up!"

“Bear one another burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ” Galatians 6:2

By Glenys Hicks of Morning Cuppas With Glenys

God Makes No Mistakes

Oppressed by the noonday heat, a tired farmer sat under a walnut tree to rest. Relaxing, he looked at his pumpkin vines and said to himself, “How strange it is that God puts such big heavy pumpkins on a frail vine that has so little strength it has to trail on the ground!” And then looking up into the cool branches of the tree above him, he added, “How strange it is that God puts small walnuts on such a big tree with branches so strong they could hold a man!” Just then a breeze dislodged a walnut from the tree. The tired farmer wondered no more, as he rubbed his head ruefully and said, “It is a good thing there wasn’t a pumpkin up there instead of a walnut.” Hopefully, when the breezes of life blow, you will remember that God, Who is great and wise, makes no mistakes. He deserves our praise under any circumstance.

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